My Confession (Student Campus Adult Novel)

My Confession

In the past, I think it started when I was fifteen or sixteen, and I thought about some very strange questions, such as who would I give my first time to, would I be a lustful woman, or what shape or size my first partner would be... From the age of sixteen, I became interested in the opposite sex and had my first boyfriend. But I don’t know if he doesn’t understand or I’m just late in maturing, we are used to kissing and hugging gently. At that time, I didn’t think much about what to do. Life was simple and sweet.

I remember that I once secretly read my brother's pornographic novel, probably one! I don't remember the content, I just know that it was about a black man sleeping with an older woman. The process was of course exaggerated and distorted, but that was where I first came into contact with some nouns, like the shiny glans and the red-hot penis like an iron rod, the vagina, the honey juice... I think if you read too many pornographic novels, it will have a negative impact on growing teenagers (especially boys). Just as porn movies can mislead people who lack correct sexual knowledge, the sensual stimulation described in pornographic novels makes some inexperienced people eager to try. However, some related common sense such as contraception and prevention of sexually transmitted diseases have been ignored. I still think that people who are incapable of taking responsibility for themselves do not deserve to enjoy sex.

Enough, you may want to stop me from preaching. I know what you may want to see, but I don’t know if I have the ability to give it to you. This is the first time I write about this topic. Before I get into the topic, I would like to state my position. I think sex and making love are both beautiful, but one needs to be mature in mind and have a healthy attitude. I absolutely do not encourage underage boys and girls to try it. They have no way of dealing with the possible aftereffects that may come from the momentary pleasure....

Looking back at myself back then, even though I didn’t understand anything, the basic fear was still there, so my partner and I were quite cautious. To be honest, the first few times were not really pleasant for me. When his penis entered me, there was always a tearing pain because of insufficient foreplay or nervousness. Now, when I don’t want to or am tired, I sometimes feel painful, but I have always been very responsible in pleasing men (although I am often not proactive enough). I will seriously cooperate with any requests made by men, such as sexual positions, oral sex, caressing, etc.

I like to see boys feel wonderful when having sex with me. I cooperate very well and even develop a good habit of moaning. Some men told me that they want to ejaculate when they hear my moans... But it's not as easy for me to reach orgasm as men think. While I was screaming, sometimes I thought about the music I was listening to or tomorrow's homework. If the explanation of the Kinsey Report was true, I might have never had an orgasm.

However, sex still brings me supreme pleasure, and I can easily get infinite satisfaction from having sex with men. I also like it when men pat my butt and call me a slut. Men like to be wild and even vulgar in bed, but after walking out of the room, they feel a little bit resistant and refreshing...

The first time I had a real memory of a man’s penis was when I was about 17 or 18 years old! In our girls' school, we had to wear knee-length black pleated skirts. It will reveal the white and round calves. I think that kind of dress may arouse the excitement of some men. Otherwise, why do so many high school girls suffer sexual harassment?

Speaking of sexual harassment, I suddenly feel uncomfortable. I have had extremely disgusting memories of perverts since I was ten years old. However, this is not the focus of the conversation now, so I will just leave it alone for now.

Running buses to and from school was a daily routine at the time, and that summer, as usual, it was an extremely crowded bus.

I felt a hard object pressing against my buttocks, while the man behind me had his hands resting neatly on the rings. I was not stupid and quickly realized which part of my body was touching me.

The disgusting smile and the hot breath, I thought about the erect penis being so close to my private parts, my young and pure female body aroused the impulse of a vulgar man and he was about to violate me... If it were me now, I would probably curse him and pinch his penis to make him hurt so much that he would never want to touch girls again. At that time, I actually let him put his penis against my buttocks. The bad impression left by that experience did not change even after I went to college. I've been close to a few boys, but none of them were like the boyfriend I had in high school, let alone going to bed with him.

It wasn't until I had an experience in my sophomore year that my world slowly changed.

To be honest, there was a period of time when I was quite infatuated with a junior in my department. I often went to his off-campus residence to find him, and there I would listen to music and watch fish... I never thought of doing anything with him. I was so stupid back then, I think.

The senior gave me a key and told me that I could go to his place anytime to watch Channel 4. One afternoon I skipped class and went in without knocking. I am now quite accustomed to the scene I am facing, but as a freshman in college, I was still shocked when I saw it for the first time. The familiar senior, naked, his whole body rising and falling between a woman's legs, the sweat on his back glistening in the natural light. He was humming softly, like the warning cry of an animal, and he was exerting himself extremely hard. The woman's body was blocked by him, so I couldn't see her expression nor hear any sound from her. All I could see was the senior student making some continuous movements with his butt raised. It was no different from the scenes in the porn films I had seen before. I don't know how long I stayed there watching them make love. The more panic-stricken I was, the greater the shock I saw. Sex, which I had not experienced in 19 years, was right before my eyes.

It was the woman who saw me, she screamed, and of course she left his body. I saw her naked body. Her breasts were not big but looked firm, and she had pubic hair. As I looked at her, I actually felt a sense of comparison in my heart. She immediately covered herself with the blanket. The senior's naked back came into my sight. It was hard to imagine that he was not wearing any clothes. People who play basketball are indeed tall and slender, and his back formed a beautiful curve, but the expression on his face was not perfect at all. When he turned around to look at me, every muscle on his face was distorted.

"Little Fish..." (That's been my nickname for a long time).

He pulled something to cover his lower body, so I didn't get to see what his penis looked like.

I was so terrified that I couldn't move. The person I liked was sleeping with another woman, which was quite a shock... As soon as I regained consciousness, I left...and never went back in.

The love story between an older boy and a younger girl is quite funny. My senior came to me later and gave me a long speech, the gist of which was that he wanted a sexual partner and a spiritual confidant, and I was the latter... that kind of nonsense. However, his "sexual partner" really gave him a hard time, and after that, he and I became strangers.

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first

The first time I touched a man's penis was after caressing him several times with my boyfriend. I had always been a little persistent at first, and I wasn't afraid of being laughed at when I said it out loud. My bottom line slowly slipped, from not being able to take off clothes, to not taking off underwear, to not being able to enter... But later, all of them were slowly broken.

The first time my breasts were touched, although the other person's movements were gentle, I actually didn't feel much pleasure. Maybe it was because we were virgins and there were many experiences and feelings that we had to learn slowly.

At that time, I liked to be kissed deeply, and then let him take off my clothes and knead me. I felt that these actions symbolized the intimacy of a couple and could increase their love for each other. But my boyfriend obviously doesn't just like this, he often asks me to touch his penis, and one afternoon I finally couldn't resist my curiosity and reached into his underwear, and held his penis, which felt very hot and hard... As for the size, I didn't estimate it carefully. I knew he wanted to have sex with me, but he didn't dare to ask him rashly, and I didn't dare to agree easily. The mark of chastity represented by virginity was still on me, and I had always been thinking about whether I should give it as a gift to my boyfriend whom I loved deeply at that time. But now I can't help but feel that I was really stupid back then. Sex is not a transaction, it conveys a kind of intimacy. If someone regards the first time as something great, then there is nothing wrong with it. It just means that he or she will have a few years less to enjoy this kind of happiness.

Then, as our feelings grew, the standards gradually relaxed. When we were completely naked facing each other and comforted each other several times, I knew that my mentality had changed. I also wanted to try what sex was like. And to be honest, I realized at that time that my nature was still a long way from chastity. Is my virginity important to me? Is it really necessary to keep it for my husband? And then will you walk with the arch of chastity on your back for the rest of your life?

Maybe I figured it out, or maybe I was overwhelmed by the passion, I forgot that it was two years ago that I agreed to have sex with him on a summer night.

The first time, I gave up because I couldn't find where the hole was.

The second time, he finally entered. This time there was enough foreplay, but as a virgin, I still felt unbearable pain. To make him happy, I endured it and kept saying that it didn't hurt, but I was bleeding.

This was blood, and I lost my virginity after that time. Looking at the bloodstains made me feel emotional, but I also gradually understood my own nature. It turned out that I was not a dignified woman.

Why don't I describe more about my first experience? Because I really don't remember much, I just remember that I was in pain and there was blood.

After several "trainings", I gradually felt that it didn't hurt anymore, so I started to do it about three times a week. At the beginning, I used the missionary position with the man on top and the woman on the bottom. This position has been used the longest, and to be honest, it is my favorite so far.

In fact, I don't think I was a competent sexual partner at that time. I just lay there on the bed and let him do whatever he wanted. I learned some of my skills later. The first thing I learned was to moan so realistically and lewdly. I knew that the man who had sex with me would feel a sense of accomplishment when his woman moaned to this extent, and seeing him happy would make me even happier.

Ha, come to think of it, I don’t even know if it’s true. If it’s inserted deep, I will scream loudly, and if it’s inserted shallowly, I will whimper. Anyway, making love is a matter for two people. I cooperated seriously and he felt happy too.

Next, learn how to bathe people.

I thought I was smart and quickly figured out how to please a man, bathe him, and give him an erection just by applying soap. There are also some services, like standing behind him and washing his back with my breasts. He can't wait to touch my body and even wants to finish the bath quickly.

But I would still help him wash that part. The soap itself is slippery, and with my ten fingers, I would rub his penis, lightly scratch his groin, and then wash his scrotum. I would stop after not long because he felt too comfortable.

Because of my considerate nature, I want to make the other person feel more comfortable. Since we are making love, we might as well be more devoted and unforgettable.

I refuse to let others give me oral sex because I feel it is dirty, but the few times I have had such experiences are truly unforgettable. Like most women, my clitoris is particularly sensitive because of the concentration of microvessels. If someone bites my clitoris, I'm almost done for. And the experience of giving others oral sex...

Let’s talk about it next time! !

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Interlude

Let's talk about something relaxing...

I once watched a pornographic movie with my boyfriend. At that time, I was still very cautious and fearful of these non-existent things... To be honest, I didn't dare to watch it. That pornographic movie was quite "normal". It was just a beautiful girl being teased all the time, and then having sex with several guys... I forgot to ask him how he felt...but one time I went to the movies and saw a crappy X-rated film where the hero and heroine were caressing each other. I was naughty enough to touch him there and found that he was actually erect...I even made fun of him! !

Another experience was watching the sensory world with a learning attitude. It is said that this film is the ancestor of Japanese porn films... I believe it was all shot with real guns... and was shot by Nagisa Oshima. The content is more like an art film. It tells a story about a maid who is too lustful and her male master. In pursuit of more excitement, she accidentally strangles him to death. Then the crazy heroine cuts off the man's penis and walks on the streets of Tokyo.

I suggest that most girls can consider watching Realm of the Sensual... maybe it won't be too bad.

Later, I took my junior sister to watch a movie, which felt a bit weird... when there were two women giving each other oral sex on TV, and my junior sister was leaning on me... She said she had never seen it before and wanted me to take her as an "experienced person". But I think she is the one who really enjoys it! She held my arm, leaned on me and discussed the plot with me...I wonder if she did it intentionally or not? ﹖ But I was really scared at that time... Later she asked me to watch MTV, and I didn't even dare to go with her to watch ordinary movies.

Later until now, the fourth TV at home has a decoder installed, and I have watched myself having sex in the mirror... and I found that the excitement may be no less... But now I really don’t feel anything when watching porn, if I do, I should be excited! !

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My Confession 2

I have been living alone for two years. He said he lived alone, but in fact he moved to an off-campus student dormitory since his sophomore year. What a source of evil. I often pace back and forth in the corridor of the building where I live, and see that men's shoes and women's shoes are placed together in many rooms. Therefore, for most students who live on campus, it is difficult to personally experience the concept of living together. But to be honest, many college students have found boyfriends or girlfriends during these four years and tasted the forbidden fruit. Now let me talk about my experience!

I moved out not because I wanted to indulge in love affairs, but because I just wanted to live a free and easy life. When I lived with my boyfriend before, his phone calls often disturbed my roommates, and I often stayed out all night. I thought I might as well live out after my sophomore year to avoid trouble. Someone asked me why I didn't just live together, and I accused him of thinking about our relationship in a wrong way, but less than a month later he moved in with me.

At the beginning, I insisted that he sleep on the floor and I sleep on the bed, but man! Indeed, few of them were good ones. He kept asking to sleep on top of me, and after a few days I agreed.

We actually had sex in July, so it has been two years now. Within two years, because of this experience, my personality has indeed changed a lot. I have only had sex with three people, one of whom I only had sex with twice a night, and I am still very close to the other two, which means that part of our relationship is still based on sex. One is my boyfriend, and the other is... I don’t really know how to define him, he already has a girlfriend, so I am his, mistress.

It's really immoral to say this. Do I have too much sexual demand? Do you need more than one man to be satisfied?

Wrong, I like sex and enjoy it, but I rarely have a strong desire for it. For me, being held in someone's arms while sleeping is completely satisfying. When I am alone, I rarely think of having sex. I have never masturbated at the age of 21. It's just that I have known these two for a long time and have a deep relationship with them. I enjoy the happiness of being loved by them, and I often feel that my body is a kind of reward, making them happy and loving me more.

But that's too much of a compliment to me. It's not like I haven't had the experience of having sex with a guy I just met for the first time (the third guy didn't have any emotional foundation, but I gave him oral sex and he ejaculated inside me).

So I position myself as an indulgent and casual woman, but definitely not a lustful woman.

After living together with my boyfriend for a while, we had sex several times. I started by bathing him and later gave him oral sex.

As for men's penis, well, to be honest I don't really like it.

Now that I have three objects, I can slowly compare them. The first two are large and thick, and the third one is probably a normal size, I think.

Now let's get to the point: Do I like "Big Two"?

The answer is not necessarily. A penis that is too big causes me pain. Even now, I should have had hundreds of sexual experiences, but it really does hurt me sometimes. I want to make him feel good, but I have to endure the pain.

So, whether it’s younger or older, really, it’s best if two people are happy together.

Speaking of the penis, I think it is really ugly when it is not erect, and really scary when it is erect. But I will finally appreciate a man's penis just to make him happy.

I've talked a lot, I'll talk about it next time!

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My Confession 3

That's the end of the preface...

Last night, I went to watch MTV, and first selected an animation called The Tragic Swordsman Fuliman, which was advertised as an action-adventure cartoon, but there were only a few sex scenes... The cartoon itself was quite good... I managed to finish the cartoon in two hours, and then selected a Japanese movie that was adapted into "Abuse". I haven't seen any SM movies yet, but I'm not particularly interested in them. However, the old version seems to have been put in the wrong place...it turned into something in white, and the main character is Misato Nakayama. Because of the mosaics, we couldn’t see anything, and my boyfriend was very annoyed (although I wouldn’t), so he said he wanted to change a movie, so we chose a foreign movie (as a boy who often watches Japanese movies, he knew that foreign movies don’t have mosaics, but I didn’t know that), and the movie was called Midnight Madness.

There is a little plot, but most of the time it is just about making love... I felt really sleepy while watching it, and sometimes I even felt scared... The penises of the three male protagonists in the film are all competing for size... they are so big and long that my boyfriend was very frustrated and said his is not really that big... I was thinking, if yours is really that big... then you should find a capable girl! I think I can’t stand it…. Later, I used my humorous nature to joke that the basis for choosing the male lead in this play was based on the size of the thing below, and the biggest one would be the first male lead...

After watching an erotic movie, I went back to my room and looked at myself in the mirror. It seemed a bit stupid, but I thought my vagina must be more beautiful than those girls'! At least it’s not loose as if it’s been ridden by thousands of people. So I guess my vagina isn’t too loose either…

My boyfriend is coming home today…. I don’t know when we will see each other next time, but I have run out of condoms and I am in my period, so we can’t do it, right? I originally wanted to try the breast-to-breast sex that I learned from a porn movie, but my breasts are not big enough, and it would be a bit ugly to squeeze them together and then stuff his penis in them... So I volunteered to give him a blowjob... He sat on me and asked me to lick him there with my tongue. We did this for a long time but he didn't ejaculate. To be honest, my mouth was numb. But he asked me if I was tired. Seeing that he was enjoying it, I was too embarrassed to say that I didn't want to continue... After a while, he finally ejaculated on my face, which was the first time for me, and some of it went into my mouth. I was mentally prepared to eat it, but…

It tasted bitter and fishy... I swallowed it with gritted teeth, and suddenly felt that this was actually a kind of happiness... It felt much better.

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My Confession 4

Last night, I was watching the Silver Night Hour on Sanlih Channel, and a young girl asked if frequent masturbation would be good for my skin. It suddenly occurred to me that I haven’t done it for a long time… The doctor said that if I have sexual urges, I need to deal with them, but that may be because I’ve been too busy recently… So even if I am alone every night, I don’t have time to think too much…. How ridiculous! I was wondering if many working women are so busy with work that they become apathetic? Or are you too busy to find a partner and have no choice but to masturbate desperately?

Having said that... I didn't think much about it. I heard that more than 60% of women have masturbated, and most of them reach orgasm through masturbation. I think it's very interesting. Could it be that some of the girls I know really have masturbation experience? Those... innocent faces, it's hard to imagine them reaching orgasm. But as for myself, I often hear some of my close friends say that I don't look like someone who would do this kind of thing.

Also, recently a girlfriend I know had some trouble because her family found out that she had an abortion for her boyfriend. The girl wanted the boyfriend to take responsibility, but the guy refused... The situation isn't over yet, and as a bystander I can't help. But I really feel sorry for the girls...if you really want to have sex, you have to be responsible! A man who gets someone pregnant, but is unable to keep the child and doesn't want to marry her has no right to ask the woman to do anything with him. Some of them just want to seduce young girls all day long. It’s better to be practical. If you are not sure that you will not get someone pregnant, then go find a prostitute and don’t hurt good girls!

I am so angry that some people may think that I must be deeply harmed.

In fact, because my menstrual period is very irregular and often late, it scares men, so I often take pregnancy tests. My body is funny, because my period comes that night every time I take the test.

I think I am a smart and lucky woman. By calculating the safe period and the dangerous period and using condoms, I have never done anything that I would regret. I like children very much, but now I have neither the ability nor the desire to raise one.

If I don’t use a condom, I will be a little neurotic. I will take a shower as soon as possible after making love, especially to rinse that part thoroughly... I don't think the birth control methods I used were very good, but I was really lucky. I also took birth control pills for a month, but that month my temper became so bad that I even hated myself for being like that. So I would ask for condoms unless I was really comfortable with the date.

The reason I feel this way is that I have several good friends who got pregnant accidentally, and abortion was the only option. However, I think most men don't understand the harm it causes to the women. One of them had constant back pain, and she was only in her early twenties. Another one had already had two abortions. The doctor asked her why she didn't just get married. My classmate was unable to answer and could only cry.

I have never seen their boyfriends stand up for them despite such pain. A friend of mine asked me to take her to do a pregnancy test one night (because she thought I had more experience, but in fact I did not). When we went to the obstetrics and gynecology department, the doctor asked calmly: Are you a student at National Central University? How can you be so careless? "

So, I am very glad that I did not kill a little life and did not hurt myself because of it, but I have a little distrust of boys, and this is where it comes from.

If you really love her, protect her.

It seems like I'm always preaching, haha.

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Overture to Love and Desire

She tried hard to recall what she saw in the reception room this afternoon, Xiao Wang and Mary were making passionate love together, Mary was lying on top of Xiao Wang and moving, and from above she could see that his penis was shining because of the liquid...

She hadn't had sex for a long time. No, she never thought that was love. It was boring sex. When she recalled it... there were no good memories, only waves of humiliation... So she simply couldn't imagine why Mary seemed to enjoy it so much... Although the room was very dark, she could still see Mary's face with what she thought was a wild smile, and Mary kept whispering, "More and more," which seemed to indicate that she liked it.

Is Xiao Wang different from her previous man? Can it bring happiness to women?

This thought made her heart palpitate a little, but her long-standing dislike for Xiao Wang suppressed this palpitation. She is still a cute and lovely girl that everyone loves. It may be a bit of an exaggeration to say this, after all, she is not very pretty, but she looks quiet and well-behaved... This kind of girl can easily win the favor of boys, so she has had suitors since her freshman year. One of them was Li Dawei, who pursued her until her junior year and finally got her to agree in her junior year, and they became a couple.

What's wrong with memories like this? Of course not. It was after Li Zai became her lover that his personality gradually changed. When Li deliberately violated her one night, she resisted for a long time. Seeing that he could not succeed, Li changed his offensive strategy. He promised to marry her, and her wholehearted devotion to Li made her believe it without any doubt.

When Li whispered in her ear: "I am yours...", that was the moment when Li truly got her. She did not like it at all, but for him, she kept the fear in her heart... During that period of time, she let Li enjoy a woman's body and love, but maybe Li was not gentle enough. She was always afraid of having sex. She was afraid that Li would be too strong and she was afraid of getting pregnant. Li did not wear a condom and would only pull out his penis when he was about to ejaculate. She was young and ignorant, so she really got pregnant with Li's child.

But Li had no money, so she used her own savings to abort the child.

Since she had the abortion, Li no longer liked her. Her health deteriorated and she repeatedly rejected Li's requests for sex. The shadow of pregnancy always remained in her mind. So Li came to see her less and less often. When she went to Li's place to clean like a wife, she saw several used condoms in the trash can. She was heartbroken. Li had been with her for so long and he refused to use condoms, but when he had a new woman, he actually started using condoms.

Finally, Chen Xiaoyan saw through Li's heart and decided to leave him and be reborn.

But some unpleasant rumors began to spread around her, saying that Chen Xiaoyan was a woman who had had an abortion, and that she was very bad in bed and lay on the bed like a dead fish... When she heard this rumor, she almost couldn't stand it and wanted to die. She knew who spread the rumor, but she didn't have the courage to confront him. So she had to drop out of school even though she was already a senior, and then, without her parents knowing, she asked to transfer back to Taipei to study due to poor health.

The miserable past made Chen Xiaoyan hate men. After graduating from university and working in this company, she picked many female colleagues here. So I stayed here steadily for five years and had no intention of changing jobs. She wanted to save money until one day she no longer had to work and had no worries about food and clothing. Then she would leave the city and live a quiet life in a place where no one knew her.

Chen Xiaoyan, who lived with this idea in mind, became a monster in the eyes of her colleagues. Although she had always been popular, she avoided men as much as possible. She was different from those colleagues who wanted to find a good man all day long.

Gradually, she realized that she would become what others called an old maid. Several thoughts flashed through her mind. Maybe she would meet a great man who didn't care about her past and fall in love with him again. But... the idea that all men in the world are evil is deeply rooted in her mind. She cannot accept the attention of men. She can't help but think of the obscene aspects and feel nauseous.

Until she saw Xiao Wang and Mary...some enzyme slowly started to change in her heart, although she didn't know it yet.

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My Confession No. 5

This time, I want to repent for my own absurdity.

Last Sunday was my boyfriend’s last weekend as a free man, so after not seeing him for a while, I decided to take a night train to Kaohsiung, spend the whole Sunday with him, and then take the 11 o’clock night train back to Zhongli. Everything was going as planned, and I was looking forward to seeing him.

He left two condoms with me and I originally wanted to take them with me, but I also thought that after having sex with him this time, I don’t know when I will open my private parts for someone again. Indeed, I secretly decided in my heart that I would return to my pure white state this time, adjust my identity to the kind of identity that would wait for my boyfriend to finish his military service and then go abroad together. I should completely reject some temptations.

I feel that I have done very well. There are more girls than boys working in the cram school, and only some little boys stick to me. After returning to my place, I no longer get anxious because of the endless phone calls. I can watch TV, listen to heavy metal, do housework, and read books by myself. Everything is safe and natural.

Later, I went to Kaohsiung. Because of some urgent matters, I left in a hurry and forgot to bring condoms.

We went to Kaohsiung for a day, visited some famous places I had never been to before, and had a lot of fun. But by the afternoon, we were all tired. I suggested finding a hotel to rest, but my boyfriend had no experience in booking a hotel room and he naively believed that I had none. So I rode my motorcycle around almost the entire Kaohsiung, just to find a clean, good hotel that didn't do shady things in his mind, and finally found one opposite Xiongzhong High School. I thought it was very funny. It was obviously a hotel, and a young man and woman went in. They didn't care whether the hotel was shady or not, and it was obvious that they wanted to have sex, but he cared a lot, so I just listened to him.

I have had many experiences with booking a room, from resting to staying overnight, and my boyfriend was completely unaware of it. I originally wanted to change for the better as I didn't want to carry any secrets anymore, and my boyfriend loves me very much.

but…..

Although I had just finished my MC that day, I always use condoms when having sex with my boyfriend, because more than half a year ago, we had sex too intensely and his glans was broken and bleeding. At that time, we didn't know it was just a skin injury and we were so nervous.

At that time, the difference between his and my personality was revealed.

I am decisive and make decisions quickly. But he often regrets it. He is indecisive and thinks a lot, but he never misses out on any detail.

He had a problem with his private parts, and I wanted him to see a urologist, but he was afraid of being embarrassed. We almost broke up because of this incident. When I was a freshman in college, I didn’t know I could buy pregnancy tests, so I went to the obstetrics and gynecology department to take a pregnancy test by myself. He didn’t dare to accompany me in and could only wait for me outside the door.

I really wanted to cry, but I was a strong person when faced with big things, so I went in and took care of everything by myself. He should have gone to see a doctor himself, but he hesitated to go because he was afraid that others would recognize him and that he would be embarrassed. I couldn't bear it any longer, so I drove him to a larger hospital with a urology department. I registered for him and took him to wait for the doctor.

The examination results showed that it was only a skin injury, which was caused by bleeding due to excessive force. He was too scared to have sex at first, but he stopped after a while. We started thinking about it and found that wearing a condom could protect his glans, so from then on, we used condoms when having sex. To be honest, sometimes the foreplay is not enough, and condoms with lubrication are better for me.

The brand we usually use is Durex, which is made in England and has a sweet and creamy smell. I think it is safe enough because I have never been pregnant.

We went to the hotel, took a shower together, and naturally wanted to do it. I gave him a passionate blowjob and bathed him carefully.

Once we got into bed, we didn't have to worry about disturbing others in the hotel, so I could scream as much as I wanted. My boyfriend usually makes a little noise during sex, but that time he screamed loudly too. All in all, it was great sex.

And I define it as my last time in recent times, so I cherish it even more. After saying goodbye reluctantly, we also knew that we really couldn't be sure when we would meet next time, so we agreed to write to each other more frequently. He also took me to Weiwuying to see the geographical location so that I could go to meet him alone in the future.

My heart is completely prepared for my boyfriend to join the army.

July 20th was the day he officially enlisted in the army. On the 19th, I made an appointment with him to visit me at 11 o'clock. I also bought him a brand new phone card. Even if we were just talking nonsense, I really wanted to remember his voice and image firmly.

At ten twenty, I was reading a magazine alone in a convenience store near my home, feeling quite relaxed.

A man walked in front of me and scared me so much that my magazine fell to the ground.

It turned out to be the man with whom I had had multiple relationships. He came here to find me without any notice, and I didn't know what to say. I originally thought that he and his girlfriend had a stable relationship. He and I were in Taipei and Zhongli respectively, and we occasionally called each other, so we didn't need to meet often. Yet, he came here to find me...

His first question was to ask me if I welcomed him. Of course I said I was very happy to see him. It was a pleasure to meet someone who was so close to me.

But, that was the day before my boyfriend enlisted in the army, and I knew the situation was out of my control.

When he came to the central government, of course he stayed at my place. Since we lived together, of course we had sex.

Neither he nor I had any feelings for each other's significant other, and we could even chat and laugh easily and make fun of each other.

So...after taking a shower, we really had sex, and my boyfriend was going to join the army in less than ten hours the next day... The girlfriend whom he loved so much actually did such a thing...

I kind of hate myself, but on the other hand, I'm indifferent because I've been living with two lovers for almost a year. How is this day different from the dozens or hundreds of days before it? But... Oh my God, I feel like there are two of me, split apart, one is extremely loyal, the other is lustful, no, I should say that I don't care about anything.

Anyway, he came to me on his own... I didn't actively abduct anyone...

Maybe that’s what I think….

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My Confession No. 6

From the original youthful ignorance, to the increasingly absurd life after having a boyfriend, now after he joined the army, she has finally returned to the purity of life.

I, who originally had peach blossoms in my horoscope, realized for the first time that I could live well alone without the love and care of a man. Although I would occasionally think about sleeping without the body temperature of another person, or more primitively, without someone to stimulate my desire, I, who had always been burning like a fire, slowly cooled down in loneliness...

Yesterday, when I was talking to an online friend, he suddenly asked me directly: "You haven't done it for a long time!"

That’s right, my boyfriend joined the army on July 20th, and I had sex with another man the night before he went to the army, so it was July 19th, and yesterday was already August 15th.

I haven't done anything with anyone for almost a month, and even I can't believe it. I used to be excessively sexual. Maybe it's not because I'm excessive, I seldom ask for it directly, but when he wants it, I won't refuse even if the last time was just an hour ago.

The little fish, which had been nourished and warmed by the man, seemed to be slowly withering away.

But I've been so busy at work that I've neither had the time nor the desire to think about sex. Even more, some boys who used to fly around me like flies have automatically disappeared. I haven't looked at my face for a long time. I think it's because I'm getting more and more scary that people have no appetite for me!

Having said that, I am used to being alone, so I would feel a little repulsed by the thought of being tied down by someone. But there is someone who loves me far away, and I believe his heart is with me all the time, so even though I am lonely, I am at peace.

Then...what about the other person who was secretly colluding with me? Haven't I been secretly dating him for almost a year? Why is it that he comes to see me less often after my boyfriend is no longer around me?

Ever since he got a job in Taipei, he was like being nailed there and was only free on Sundays. And Sunday was also my family reunion, so naturally we missed the chance to meet.

But... just as he said, our relationship is very clear and it won't change in the short term, it's just... we're good friends on the surface, but secretly we might sneak around and do things like that in a hotel. I think that if we meet again, we will definitely have sex. I can't give a reason to refuse, and maybe I also need someone who will not leave me physically and spiritually. Or, one lover is not enough for me. Maybe for many people, one lover is not enough!

And I... I don't know. I am not good at rejecting people's kindness, but it makes me fall into emotional entanglements again and again. Do I really need to cheat? I think, maybe not. I think I am a very cold person in my heart. I don't care about how I will become in the future. If someone really needs me, I can't think of a reason not to be with him.

And my poor boyfriend, in some ways, I was very good to him, but in some ways, I kept humiliating him.

I am a cute, creative and clingy lover, I surprise him every day and my caring nature makes him love me more. As for sex, I think I have nothing in common with the word conservative. I think since it is called "making love", we should really make love, so it needs to be deliberately managed.

Even though I may not be a woman with such needs by nature, I will want to perform my best in front of him and make him feel that he is a great man, so that if he enjoys having sex with me, I can certainly enjoy it too.

But, I cheated too easily. He once forgave me, but was betrayed by me again without him knowing it.

I don't know if he would go crazy or kill me if he found out what kind of person his beloved girlfriend is.

I don't want to think clearly, so I have to let time answer everything for me.

I met him on Sunday, and went to his house because I had an honorary leave. I had my period, so it was impossible to do anything I wanted.

I offered to give him a blowjob, and saw his penis which I hadn't touched for a whole month. To be honest, my boyfriend's was the biggest and most beautiful one I had ever seen. It was very straight. When the pulse on it was beating due to the erection, I don't know if I was perverted, but I really liked the penis at that time.

So, I sucked his scrotum first, and then licked upwards from the groin. The disadvantage was that his pubic hair was too thick, and I often ate the hair halfway through licking, so it was better to lick his glans directly first, and then gently nibble on his penis. The familiar and somewhat unpleasant smell might make some people afraid of it, but with several years of experience, I have long been accustomed to the stuffy and somewhat nauseating smell.

After licking, the way to give him the greatest pleasure is to put the penis into your mouth and then suck it.

The trick is to use a little force with your mouth, and tighten it a little when sucking back. I think men should like the tight feeling.

I had a feeling that if I continued sucking he would ejaculate, after all he had been "storing" it for long enough.

I stopped on my own to avoid trouble, but he loves me and won't force me if I say no.

He asked me to take off my top and suck my nipples, and a wave of pleasure surged up from my chest.

I think I also need a man, but this desire can be easily eliminated, so after I returned to Zhongli, I was still alone and still didn't masturbate or anything.

This is my report for the time being.

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My Confession No. 7

After a long period of reflection... I found that I didn't dare to read what I wrote before. It was too real... and too self-centered. I had planned to talk about my own experience from a very detached standpoint. If it helps others, that would be great. If not, that's fine too. Anyway, I'm just telling you what I have written truthfully...

But as I became more involved in the Internet, many people started to pay attention to me. Many of them were kind-hearted and worried about the many problems that a little girl like me might face... I am very grateful, and I am always very grateful.

Frankly speaking, I am quite wary of people I met in this environment, because they may have colored their perception of me or mistakenly think that I might be easy to get along with.... In some ways, it’s pretty good! What I am going to talk about now is an incident that happened.

Actually, it sounds cruel to say it. I think it is too cruel for both me and him. But he is my fourth man. If I don’t talk about the fourth one, it will be annoying to talk about the first three all day long, right?

The fourth one is an online friend whom I like very much.

To be honest, when my boyfriend went to the army and lived alone, sometimes I just wanted to find a man to accompany me. My brother-in-law sometimes comes to see me and has sex with me when he does, but... the thought of seeking a little extra stimulation is always in my mind. When I think about how miserable my boyfriend is, I will suppress it, and when I think about how pitiful I am, I feel a little unwilling.

It was under such circumstances that he and I became more and more familiar with each other. Although we were very familiar with each other on the Internet and I was very frank with him, I sometimes had some inexplicable fantasies about him, and I think he had the same fantasies about me!

He and I are very well behaved. We don't talk about having sex online, nor do we say too many obscene things.

But it was a feeling that we both had some bad thoughts hidden in our minds. I once thought about finding him... and then seducing him... and having sex with him. But later on, the more he cared about me, the less I had such thoughts. Maybe it was because he had a girlfriend and I was afraid of getting into trouble!

But..I don’t know if I guessed wrong, but he cared about me very much and decided to come to me.

I missed him the first time because I was away, but we met the second time.

He is a good-looking guy with good conditions. The people are nice too..I can be sure of that.

I took him to watch the MTV...True Love, which was three sides long. I don't know how long we watched it before he started to hug me and wanted to kiss me. I wanted to resist... because even though I knew intuitively that I would sleep with him... I felt guilty inside because my boyfriend loved me very much and I was already a promiscuous enough person.

I still let him kiss me, even though I might not be that into him, maybe... I don't know.

His kiss was very wild, I really liked it...it seemed like he wanted to turn my entire tongue over from the root...

Later on in the MTV he wanted to touch me... I still didn't want to do anything serious, so I made the excuse that I wanted to watch a movie, but he still hugged me and kissed me restlessly.

I was sure then that I was going to sleep with him.

In the MTV, he started to hold my breasts... My body started to get ignited as if by instinct, and I also wanted to be passionate... But in some ways I was indifferent.

I can go to bed with someone I meet for the first time... This is the second time, and there may be a third and fourth time in the future...

When he was biting my breast...to be honest...I've seen people with better skills than him...his movements were too gentle...I wanted something a little wilder...

But he was a great sex partner, I won't deny that.

I think he also enjoys sex...

But I think for me, sex is part of the enjoyment, and I'm enjoying the other parts too.

I enjoy kissing... I enjoy caressing... I enjoy oral sex... I enjoy making love... and I enjoy the intimate feeling between two people even more.

I can’t enjoy the latter with him... I don’t know why, some actions have become stereotyped for me... Maybe it’s because there is only one person I really love! But..that night was still a wonderful experience, so wonderful that I feel a little sad when I think about it..because if it was a friend I could have sex with,

I don't care how he and his girlfriend are doing. You can give me your body when I need you, and you will love me in some way. I know, I won't make any demands, as long as I don't feel guilty...we can just take what we need.

But the problem lies in the guilty conscience.

Ah...I have to go for something...[I'll tell you the real process of having sex with him next time!

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My Confession No. 8

I wanted to use the message forwarding function to post the message, but I don’t know if I’m stupid or I can’t forward it, anyway, I never succeeded. I’ve been writing my stuff for a long time, and I don’t have too many exams, but I’m always worried that I’ll come here to play around and get caught by some people who like to watch the fun, that would be terrible... Stay away from me, just watch the show or listen to other people’s experiences, why do you have to pay too much attention to me?

I'll write it quickly!

Last Sunday, my boyfriend had a rare few days off and I hadn’t been to Kaohsiung for a long time, so he asked me to go with him and I went without hesitation... It happened that the Tatung Department Store fire broke out, so my boyfriend and I were shopping and eating at the night market near Tatung while watching the fire. We were just there to watch the fun... There was a small restaurant called Weekend where we ate and met two boys who looked very feminine. We kept wondering if they were the boys we could get takeout from. Suddenly I remembered a report in a gossip magazine I read recently, which said gigolo is a very popular industry. Youth and good looks are really useful assets, even for boys...

The last time my boyfriend and I had sex was a long time ago. Recently, the frequency of my sex has become very low. Compared to the "before"... I feel a little sad...

I didn’t really want to do it at first. Firstly, I still felt a little unfamiliar with my boyfriend who I hadn’t seen for a long time. Secondly, I was in a hurry and it was not like I could go directly to his room or my room at school... But being a soldier for a long time is always a very depressing thing. In fact, I didn't really want to do it, but I thought it would make him happier, so I took the initiative to ask him if he wanted to do it. He said, of course he wanted to do it. But no... My boyfriend is more rational and conservative than romantic and passionate, but one good thing about being a girlfriend like me is that I will try to influence him... I don’t deny that I am quite wild in some ways, and that’s probably why I attract some people!

I asked him straightforwardly whether he really wanted to do it, and told him to just do it without making excuses. A hint of joy flashed in his eyes. I think of course he wanted to but was afraid that his request was too much, because I took a plane to see him and had to take a night train back to school in the evening. I didn't get enough sleep and looked tired at first glance, and probably didn't look in a very good condition. But to be honest, it’s a good thing for me to be that intimate with my boyfriend…. I should have a closer spiritual connection with him... I have separated sex from love... Maybe I can do it but my boyfriend doesn't seem to be able to, at least in the past two or three years I know that I am his only one... He is not a lustful man, he would rather enjoy intimacy than waste his sperm... When he confidently said that even if I had other suitors, he knew I would definitely choose him because no one would love me as much as he did...

I am also very confused about myself. In terms of sexual ability and enjoyment, my boyfriend definitely brings me the best pleasure. His organ is naturally majestic and strong, and his endurance and variety are as good as anyone else... When it comes to loving me, he really loves me to the point of being dizzy... In terms of appearance, he is already very good...

What on earth am I doing? Am I not unlucky, but is it because he indulges me too much that I have to be cuckolded without his knowledge?

Later we rode our bikes along the city looking for a hotel. We found one whose name I have forgotten now, and bought condoms at a convenience store. As usual, it was my and his favorite Durex with a butterscotch scent... I’m not sure why the price of condoms seems to have gone up recently, but after checking into the room, I took a shower and was so intoxicated by the high temperature that I didn’t want to come out at all. My boyfriend was watching porn outside and was already a little horny. Normally, we wouldn't lock the door unless we were taking a shower together, so he came in naked, his trained muscles firmer and glistening in the light. I made some space in the bathtub for him to take a bath. Once he started to bathe, he became restless and asked me to kiss him. This is our terminology. Saying "I want to give you a blowjob" seems too formal. Kiss is a very intimate verb...

As soon as I mentioned playing, he leaned over, half of his body in the water, his head buried in my lower body, first sucking my labia and then biting my clitoris... My body began to twist... half because of the stimulation and half because of affectation... I really wanted to make him feel it...

Wow, class has to start. I have to go now. I’ll write next time.

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My Confession No. 9

Looking back at the once unbearable days in the past, and thinking back to my determination to finally be normal, I don’t know how long I can hold on. I should be responsible for only one person, but I seem to be too careless. I often think that I should be a person who can completely separate sex and love, but the person with me may not be able to do it. From his nervous tone, I know that he must be afraid that he will lose me without him knowing the truth, so he usually doesn’t care about my whereabouts, but recently he has been asking me frequently where I went when I didn’t answer the phone, and he is also worried about what my not writing letters means?

Because I was also afraid of losing him, I didn't think I would ever admit what I had done, including spending the night with four other boys besides him.

Yes, four, although I know that I have no emotional ties with anyone other than my brother.

And now, finally everything seems to have returned to normal. I am a good girl whose boyfriend is in the army. My brother-in-law and I haven't been in touch for a long time. Even when we went to the movies together last week, we had almost no physical contact. I once had an impulse that I really wanted to hug him and stick to him like we used to. Then after watching the movie, find a random hotel and have sex twice. I haven't had sex for a long time, but I don't know why. He once proposed it, but it ended up being nothing. Later, when we talked on the phone, I asked him if he would want me when he met me that day? He said he would, and I shouldn't have been proud at that time, but I was really happy that he still wanted me.

Obviously, he already has a girl he loves very much, and he has decided to put aside his shameful past for her, but when we meet, we still want to have sex.

However, I have to admit that I met another great guy. We had known each other for a long time and everything was fine. But suddenly I found that he had very beautiful eyes, and I thought that all the boys I had relationships with also had beautiful eyes. I have an incurable obsession with big eyes, just like I extremely appreciate having big eyes myself. So, I couldn't figure out who seduced who first. It seemed like we had a tacit understanding and it was time to make things clear. Anyway, we both had lovers and agreed not to get entangled. So we just agreed. Anyway, sex is just like that, a process of caressing and insertion, which may bring me some pleasure.

I think maybe I am too lonely. Although I have someone in my heart, I really hope that someone can hug me on some nights, enjoy my body and I enjoy his, but without causing any trouble to each other. Maybe this is what I want.

It's a bit like a kind of obsession. I remember that among Shibamon Fumi's classmates, Hiroshi Asuka had slept with 24 women when he was 31 years old. He said that in the end it became just a numerical conquest. I think I am the same. I have really been wondering whether I will have such "proud achievements" when I am 31 years old. Maybe not. In my heart, I am still thinking about my boyfriend. I am the only woman he has ever had, and he still loves me like this without knowing what good things I have done. If he really doesn't care at all, then the number of people I have now is definitely more than five. But...the voices of good and evil are fighting in my head.

Who will be victorious in the end? Sometimes holy and sometimes lascivious, at the same time there are many different voices pressing on me... Maybe I should be punished for everything I have done!

I enjoy caressing more than sex itself. Recently, I have come to a deep understanding that perhaps all my passion for sex can be faked. I don’t want my male partner to think that I am cold or that he may not be doing it well enough (of course, some may really not be good enough), but my reaction seems to be always the same and very enjoyable... Am I really that easily satisfied? Actually not. Only in rare cases would I almost reach a state of ecstasy, but most of the time I seemed to be very involved, and deep down I just wanted to see him enjoying himself. I have no way to describe in detail the mental and physical happiness a girl can achieve during sex, because sometimes I don’t care at all what I think, and I can’t feel exactly how much pleasure I can enjoy. I use my mind to carefully observe my male partner, and I will be happy if there is a satisfied smile on his face. No wonder I seem to have never reached orgasm.

Someone once told me that among all the girls he had sex with, I had the best skills and was the most slutty in bed. I wonder if this was a compliment or sarcasm? Maybe I can make boys happy, I don’t know if it’s possible, but sometimes I can’t communicate with them at all, and I think it’s very sad.

Even if I clearly don't love someone, I can still give him a bath, use my hands to delicately apply soap on his penis and wash it clean, then squat down and give him a blowjob in the bathroom... Even if I clearly don't love someone, I still swallow his semen and act like I enjoy it. God knows it tastes terrible and I want to spit it out right away. I believe no boy would like to drink up his own stuff. I can actually do this for a stranger. I really doubt whether I am a prostitute in essence. I just don't want to take money because I still have dignity.

I just watched the HBO show "Sleeping with a Stranger" and complained too much at once. But I think it may be difficult for me to change this personality in the short term!

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