After five years of marriage, I found love again~~ (Celebrity Adult Novel)

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[Adult Literature] After five years of marriage, I found love again~~

I've been married to this man for five years and I don't know if I still love him.

I remember when we were just married, I would always wake up in his arms in the morning. I would always blush and dare not say good morning, for fear that my breath would frown his brows. I insisted on using the same style but different colors of mouthwash cup and toothbrush as his, so that when we put them together we would look like a couple. I would help him pack his work clothes, and decide which shirt and tie to match, and only after I had judged his taste would I allow him to wear them.

From getting up to sitting at the table, for his health, I prepare a different breakfast every day. On a sunny day, it may be bacon and eggs with toast; if it rains, maybe some millet porridge with pickled cucumber and salted egg; if it is cloudy, I might as well eat some sesame seed cakes, fried dough sticks and soy milk outside... I have used up all the tricks and can’t think of any new ones, but I never get tired of it.

In addition to being a virtuous wife, I also make no secret of my passion for him. "I love you" is what I always say when I see him off to work every day, followed by an intimate kiss. Even though he just smiles faintly most of the time, it is enough to make me happy for a long time.

But five years have passed.

I believe it’s not the time to feel itchy yet, but what exactly changed my interaction with him?

When I woke up in the morning, his place was often empty, and the only proof of his existence was the wrinkled sheets. Even if he occasionally overslept or stayed in bed for a while, he would definitely jump out of bed in a hurry and wash and dress in a hurry.

I had almost forgotten the feeling of being embraced by him to greet the sunrise.

The mouthwash cup in the bathroom, after one was broken a few years ago, there is no longer an identical one, and the other one fell into the toilet, so it was also replaced with a new one;

In five years, we have changed toothbrushes countless times. Sometimes we even use the same toothbrush when we are sleepy. We no longer need to hide any bad breath problems.

He said it doesn't matter whether it's the same color or style.

Therefore, on the sink, two mouthwash cups with Hello Kitty and Doraemon patterns are facing each other. There is a green toothbrush in Doraemon's cup, which is mine; the Hello Kitty one is empty because he had switched to an electric toothbrush some time ago and placed it on the shelf.

The mouthwash cups belonging to two different stories and the toothbrushes located in two different positions seem to be mocking our relationship as husband and wife, which is drifting further and further apart.

Because he goes out early, it is no longer my job to arrange his clothes, he can do it himself. breakfast? We haven't eaten together for a long time, so I don't have to spend a lot of time thinking about the menu or looking up recipes, because no one will come to eat anyway.

Not to mention the words "I love you" and the passionate morning kisses, which he was not worthy of, and it seemed a bit hypocritical to say them now.

Come to think of it, in the past five years, he has never said "I love you" once, not even once.

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Strictly speaking, the time he and I spend together starts at 7 o'clock in the evening, which is when he gets home from get off work. If he works overtime, the time may be extended to ten or eleven o'clock.

When we first got married, I learned cooking for him. I firmly believe in the rule that “to capture a man’s heart, you must first capture his stomach.”

Therefore, some restaurant signature dishes often appear on our dining table, such as Kung Pao Chicken, Wu Geng Chang Wang, Scallion Oil Chicken, Dongpo Pork... Seeing him enjoying his meal, I was happy too. Although not all of the food was what I liked, as long as he liked it, that was fine.

After dinner, we would snuggle on the sofa and watch TV. I would watch the news with him and listen to him comment on national politics and criticize social conditions; he would watch the eight o'clock drama with me and listen to me make fun of the plot and laugh and cry. So I know who the Premier and the Speaker of the Legislative Yuan are, and he also knows who plays the popular Li Shimin.

What I didn't expect was that five years could change everything.

I can say that I gave up the cooking class halfway through. I don't know from which day on, he started to interfere with my cooking methods. He didn't like too much chili in Kung Pao Chicken, he started to resist Wu Geng Chang Wang, he told me not to pour oil on the scallion chicken, and he even had opinions on how much soy sauce to put in the braised Dongpo pork.

The dishes I cooked gradually became simpler, and he no longer wanted to go to cooking classes. Sometimes I would just send him off with a plate of stir-fried vegetables, meatball soup, and preserved egg and tofu, and he didn't have any objections.

I think I can't catch his stomach.

As he worked overtime more and more, we rarely watched TV together. Apart from the fact that the current president is Chen Shui-bian, I knew nothing about national affairs; and he, no need to be asked, there is no way he would know who the male lead of Taiwan's Thunderbolt was.

The conversation between husband and wife started to become meaningless. Most of the things he said to me were "no need to wait for me" and "go to bed early". And the things I said to him were mostly "you're back" and "the food is being heated in the rice cooker".

We have no common topics, no common interests, and other than the nominal connection of "husband and wife", our communication is pitifully empty, even worse than that of ordinary friends.

What a ridiculous relationship between husband and wife, isn't it?

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Before we got married, we had described our vision for the future. He said he wanted to have two children, a boy first and a girl later, so that the older brother could protect the younger sister. But I thought we should enjoy a life together first, and there was no rush to have children. But I didn't want to spoil his mood, so I didn't say it out loud.

After we got married for a while, he was very active in "creating the next life in the universe" with me. He wanted a child, which was evident from his behavior of not wearing a condom. But I didn't want it yet and was afraid that he would be unhappy, so I took birth control pills behind his back.

I still remember that time, he excitedly took me to the hospital to visit a female friend who had just given birth to a giant baby weighing 4,200 grams and was lying on the hospital bed with a listless look. I can't forget the gleam in his eyes when he looked at the newborn baby through a piece of glass, but what I can't forget even more is that female friend telling me in a weak voice that she was in pain for a whole day and night before she asked the doctor to change the natural birth to a caesarean section.

I am even more afraid to have children.

Five years later, he seems to have given up on having children. After all, it is useless if he is the only one enthusiastic about it.

However, staying in the empty house after he went to work, I suddenly felt that it would be nice to have a child. At least the house would be more lively and I would be less lonely.

He started using condoms several years ago. I don't know what made him change his mind, but it was a relief for me. I seemed to be allergic to birth control pills. No matter what brand I changed, I ended up with edema.

I guess with his 600-degree myopia and flashes, he couldn't tell any difference between me before and after the edema. The point is, his condom solved a big problem for me, but at the same time brought me another new one.

I want a child now, but he doesn't seem to want one, and I don't know how to tell him.

Not to mention that he often works overtime and falls asleep immediately at night out of exhaustion. If I bring this up again, it would seem to be adding to his stress.

Things were already low enough between the two of them, and there was no need to add another topic that would cause conflict.

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When we were in love, he liked to take me to Tamsui, sit by the riverbank to watch the sunset, walk along the pier, and eat all kinds of snacks with different flavors. Tamsui’s seafood is quite famous, and he seems to be an old hand who always knows which one is the most authentic.

Sometimes, he took me on a ferry to Bali on the other side of the river. There was only one busy street there, and all they sold were peacock clams. Two people could eat a whole plate of them and still feel unsatisfied.

He would also ride a tandem bicycle with me along Tamsui Old Street to Tamhai, and then ride back from Tamhai. The scenery along the way was not very charming, but it had a rustic feel, and the salty sea breeze hitting my face, I really enjoyed this atmosphere. Of course, I was sitting on the back of the bicycle and didn't do it for three days and only pedaled twice when I was in a good mood. He knew I was being lazy, but he still pedaled hard.

I miss it, I really do, even after five years, the memories are still vivid.

After marriage, I have been to Tamsui only a few times, except for the early period of my marriage. In the past two or three years, I have not been there even once. During holidays, he wouldn't get up until noon. Seeing how tired he was, I certainly wouldn't bother him to take me for a walk.

Normally, he and I should have some interactions on holidays, but he was tired, so I could only find things to do by myself, go shopping with my working friends, chat about gossip, and complain about him.

As for him who is sleeping at home, he can take care of his lunch and dinner by himself!

He didn't know that a few months ago, I couldn't stand the boredom and took the MRT to Tamsui by myself. Sure enough, I haven’t been there for so long that it has become a place I don’t recognize at all.

The food stalls along the riverbank are gone, and all are concentrated near the MRT station. The place where he and I used to watch the sunset has been renovated into a long embankment for walking only. It is good that the road surface has become clean and tidy, but the place that holds the beautiful memories of him and me has disappeared.

Without his guidance, I wouldn't be able to find an authentic seafood store, delicious snacks, or ride a tandem bicycle by myself. But I was surprised to find that there is a Fisherman's Wharf in Tamsui, and I can take a bus to get there.

He had never set foot on Fisherman's Wharf, but I took the lead. This is an experience that was not his, but only mine.

When we arrived at Fisherman’s Wharf, the scenery was beautiful, but it had a kind of artificial feel to it. I thought I could spend a few hundred yuan to take the Blue Highway to Bali on the other side, just like a ferry, but the yacht that had lost its ancient style went around in a big circle and then returned to the starting point.

Apart from the bumpy boat that made me dizzy, I can't remember any beautiful scenery, and I didn't even catch a single peacock clam.

Tamsui has changed, and my memories of him have also changed.

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One morning, I woke up earlier than him and cooked him a hearty breakfast that he hadn't had for a long time.

Then, there is no third party, no quarrel.

I handed over the divorce papers.

That was the first time I saw him look so shocked, and if that day was April Fools' Day, I think I succeeded. But I wouldn't make such a bad joke, and he knew I was serious.

He didn't fly into a rage like most men and start listing the woman's crimes; nor did he cry and kneel down to beg me to stay. He just tried his best to calm himself, silently took the agreement, opened the door, and went to work, as usual.

He may have realized that our relationship had reached a bottleneck and was considering the feasibility of divorce. I didn't shed a tear for his alienation in recent years, but his indifference today almost brought out all the tears I had shed in the past five years.

I felt a little regret, and this regret gradually spread, starting from my heart and spreading to my head and toes. But what if I regret it? If they don't cut the Gordian knot quickly, they will just drag on a dull life, wasting their time together.

I don’t know how much love I have left for him, and I don’t know how much love he has left for me. Before I married him, I knew he was taciturn; after I married him, I thought I could change him, but I didn’t change him much.

My love is not enough to change him, and his love is not enough to change me. This is probably the key point.

I have experienced that the daily necessities of life can destroy the sweetness of love, but this is a lesson I learned after five years.

Now is the best time to divorce, right? We don't have any children or ties, and I don't desire anything from him.

I signed the divorce agreement with trembling hands, and even after he left for several hours, I was still shaking. This is a kind of unknown fear, and I am waiting for him to give me a result.

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After treating me coldly for five years, he tortured me for seven days.

After I handed him the divorce agreement, he didn't say a word to me for a whole week and slept on the sofa for seven days. He still went to get off work as usual every day. Except that he was even colder, I couldn't feel any joy or sorrow from him.

Even if the agreement was thrown into the trash can, there would be a sound of hitting the trash bag, but there was no sound from him. I suspected that he did not take it seriously at all and ignored me for a while just to see if I would forget about the divorce myself.

I can't stand it anymore, what is he going to do? Even divorce has to be done so indifferently?

However, seven days later, he gave me a real shock.

Early in the morning, I heard him getting up in the living room. I couldn't hear it clearly through the door, but I couldn't hear the sound of him closing the door as he went out to work. A series of metal clanging sounds replaced his usual quiet routine. I finally couldn't help but get up to check, but after opening the door, I smelled the aroma of food.

"Are you up? Have some egg rolls." He smiled, the same faint smile he gave me when I kissed him on our wedding day.

My heart skipped a beat. I thought my emotions were calm, but his long-lost thoughtfulness caused ripples in my heart.

He still can touch my heart so easily.

I don't understand how he could stay out until nine or ten o'clock and not go to work. When he noticed my confusion, he just smiled indifferently. His simple clothes didn't look like work at all. Maybe he was also tired from work?

Or maybe... he is going to make a ruling on the divorce agreement.

Seeing his calm expression, I ate my breakfast in silence, imagining what he would say next. Will he just get a divorce? Or, tear up the agreement in front of me?

Admittedly, my heart leans towards the latter.

"I've been promoted to manager." His first sentence was beyond my expectation, but his next sentence immediately got to the point, catching me off guard, "Work matters are over, now I need to take care of family matters."

Does work come before family? I smiled bitterly.

"Only after you settle down in work can I give you a stable home." He seemed to be explaining my doubts. "So, tell me why you want a divorce?" he finally asked, his face becoming solemn.

He had never spoken to me in such a questioning tone before, and looking at his rare stern expression, I was unable to utter a word.

"Do you feel that I'm being cold to you?" In the blink of an eye, his attitude suddenly became self-deprecating, leaving me completely confused, "I just knew that you were always thinking nonsense when you were alone at home..."

I talked to him at length for the entire day, several hours, and four-fifths of the time I was crying because I felt like I had made a terrible mistake.

But there are some things that I will never know without that divorce agreement.

He said that for the past five years, he did wake up every day holding me in his arms, but later he was busy with work and got up earlier, while I was still sleeping and didn't know it. Sometimes he would kiss my face, and looking at my lazy sleeping face, he couldn't bear to wake me up.

As for the mouthwash cup in the bathroom, he couldn't figure out whether Doraemon's was his or Hello Kitty's. He thought pink was a girl's color, so he always used Doraemon's mouthwash cup.

It turns out that we have been having intimate lip-to-lip communication invisibly. Poor Hello Kitty, it is just there and no one uses it, and it has become a decoration.

For breakfast, he always eats from 7-11. He admits that he misses the breakfast I make, but he is embarrassed to ask me to make it for him every day. He knows I will rack my brains to come up with new ideas, and he doesn’t want to see me too tired.

"I married you because I wanted you to enjoy a good life, not to be a maid." From the moment he said this, I couldn't stop crying.

When talking about his clothes, he laughed at my silliness. He could see that I would buy new clothes for him and arrange them neatly in the closet according to color and pattern. When we were newly married, I often helped him match his clothes. After a long time, he also knew my preferences and knew what tie to match with what clothes. He wore clothes for me.

As for the passionate morning kiss, he gave it to me every day while I was sound asleep, but I was still stubborn and thought that he didn't need my kiss.

"Why don't you ever tell me you love me?" I asked him with tears in my eyes.

"I thought you knew, otherwise why would we get married?" he answered as a matter of course.

Yes, I know, I have always known it, otherwise I would not marry him. But, since I know it, why should I force him to say it?

Women all need some loving words to nourish them. I think this is the reason. Looking at my accusing eyes, I think he also knows the reason.

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"The dishes you cook are delicious, but they take a lot of effort and not all of them are what you like, so I would rather you cook simple dishes that you like."

His explanations one by one made me cry again, "You don't like spicy food, so I want you to use less chili; you don't eat offal, so I don't eat it either; you are afraid of getting fat, so I want you to use less oil when cooking; soy sauce has a lot of salt, eating too much will put a lot of burden on the kidneys, for the sake of our health, just season it, don't add too much."

He likes everything I cook. Whenever I prepare food for him, he always eats it all. Why do I feel like I can't capture his stomach?

So, did I capture his heart too?

Another thing that surprised me was that he actually knew who the male lead of Taiwan's Thunderbolt was, even if his guess was not completely correct.

"Is it Liu Wencong? Or that Li Zhengxian? When I work overtime at night, my colleagues will turn on the TV to watch, so I know a little bit." He wiped the tears from my face and asked with a smile, "Are you watching too?"

"Yeah." I wanted to cry again. I really underestimated the ratings of that show.

"You will have less overtime after becoming a manager, so let's see together." He said it lightly, but I felt a pang of sadness in my nose.

What I care about is not what program I watch, or who the Premier or the Speaker of the Legislative Yuan is. Without them around, everything I watch is boring.

I found that as long as two people are willing, they can talk about anything. Even when I explained the plot of Taiwan's Thunderbolt to him and talked about plastic surgery, he listened with great interest.

It was me. I closed myself off, thinking that he didn't want to listen to me or talk to me. He felt sorry for me being alone at home, and was afraid that I would be bored if he talked to me about things at the company. But seeing that I didn't want to pay attention to him, he could only feel frustrated every day.

I loved to listen to whatever he said to me, but now I let him know that the couple has wasted several years dealing with this misunderstanding. He deserves it, and so do I.

"I seldom watch the news, so I don't know what's happening in the country recently." I said this with a hint of complaint.

"Okay, I'll be your news station every day from now on." He smiled gently.

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When talking about having children, he was silent for a while.

"I want to have a child." At this time, I had the courage to say it.

"I thought you didn't want to. Didn't you take birth control pills when you first got married?" It was rare to hear him sound blaming.