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Sex is not an isolated existence, it is inseparable from love. Love is the basis of sex, and sex is the continuation of love. Only with the nourishment of love can sex bloom into brilliant flowers.
I was born in a poor mountain village in southwestern Shandong. As the saying goes, phoenixes emerge from deep mountains, and the girls in our village are all beautiful. Tired of living in poverty, the phoenixes all want to rely on their pretty faces to fly out of the mountains and choose a good tree to live in. I am the same. When I was twenty years old, I finally got my wish and married a husband who was paid by the government. My husband is nine years older than me.
I have been married once and have a five-year-old boy. Although she became someone's concubine and stepmother, she was able to escape from the mountains and live a good life in the city. As a result, my parents received a dowry of several hundred yuan and two tons of anthracite, which were urgently needed at home. The money can be used to find a wife for my brother, and two tons of coal are enough to fuel the family for several winters.
My mother-in-law's family doesn't have many people, including my mother-in-law, my husband, the boy Longlong left by his ex-wife, and me. My mother-in-law is a person with a sharp tongue and a sharp tongue. Her image is very similar to Tian Bada in "Chaoyanggou". Later I found out that my husband's ex-wife had to divorce him because she couldn't stand her mother-in-law's anger. To be honest, at the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I had a harmonious sex life. He had been married before and had experience, and he sympathized with my youth, so he was more gentle. An example of this is that I didn’t feel any pain when I lost my virginity on my wedding night. My sexual dysfunction began only after we had a crisis in our relationship.
The emotional crisis between my husband and I was entirely caused by my mother-in-law. I don’t know if it’s because she was widowed at a young age and has psychological problems, or because she loves her son so much, but my mother-in-law is always unwilling to let my husband and I be alone. There is nothing we can do about it at night. During the day, if my husband and I are together for more than half an hour, my mother-in-law will find some reason to call him out. My mother-in-law especially can't stand my husband being nice to me. If my husband picks up food for me at the dinner table or helps me hang up my clothes when I wash them, my mother-in-law will fly into a rage and then make sarcastic remarks, saying: Stop putting on a show in front of me. This is about the two of us; it's like we've never found a wife in our entire lives. This is talking about his son; why is this young lady from the mountains acting like a delicate girl? This is about me. If the husband talks back, for example, saying: Mom, what are you talking about! My mother-in-law would immediately start crying, and after crying she would start to sing the song like an ignorant person: The magpie has a long tail, and he forgets his mother after marrying a wife... My husband was afraid of being branded as unfilial, so gradually he no longer dared to be nice to me. At first he was just pretending in front of my mother-in-law, but habit became second nature, and over time it became real and he became unkind to me. Emotional estrangement led to my indifference to sex life. I hated the serious disconnection between spirit and flesh and began to find various reasons to avoid it. My indifference and boredom in turn irritated and hurt my husband, and it became a vicious cycle. The more I avoided rejection, the more violent and tough he became.
Sometimes he even ignored my physical discomfort. There is never any nice thing to say when a couple falls out, and my husband also started to use harsh words to hurt me. For example, if I refuse to have sex, saying I am not feeling well, my husband will say that I have become squeamish.
The implication is, there is no need for a farm girl like you to be so delicate. He doesn't know that this is exactly the pain point that I am most afraid of - being belittled and despised for my background. My husband didn’t know that it was his merciless words that gradually chilled my heart. What hurt me the most was that he asked to have sex with me just ten days after my miscarriage. I said no.
You will get sick. My husband hit me back with the words that hurt me the most: Why are you so delicate? It's just flesh touching flesh! The result of that sexual intercourse was that I had heavy bleeding, and of course my heart was bleeding as well.
From then on, I became sexually frigid, and my husband called it "sexual apathy." No matter how hard he tries, my place will always be like a dry land without any moisture. My husband got so angry that he called me a wooden man, but this had the opposite effect and I became even more wooden. It kept getting worse, to the point where I couldn't help but feel sick and vomit whenever I saw his thing. In my eyes, my husband has turned into an emotionless stranger, and sleeping with him feels like being raped. Fortunately, this situation only happens when we have sex. At other times, we can still live in peace. After all, he is my husband and the father of my children, and he works hard for this family from morning till night. When he fell ill, I felt distressed and anxious, and took care of him by his bedside. Once, my husband had a hemorrhoidectomy. I cleaned the wound for him every day for a long time, and I didn’t vomit when I saw his private parts. My husband thought my symptoms had improved and came to ask for sex, but as soon as he touched me, I immediately started vomiting again. My husband didn't understand that when I took care of him, it was like a nurse taking care of a patient, without any sexual connotations. My husband scolded me, saying that I was like a woman during the day but turned into a devil at night.
In 1994, my mother-in-law died of illness. Soon after that, I fell seriously ill due to heavy bleeding caused by ectopic pregnancy. The hospital issued a critical illness notice, but I eventually escaped the clutches of death and survived. After this incident, my husband lost a lot of weight and became much gentler. When my life was hanging by a thread, my husband's mind and emotions also went through a life-and-death ordeal. He later told me that it was at that time that he first understood the position I occupied in his heart. He said he was really afraid that I would die like that, and if that happened he would not be able to live.
He was overjoyed at my escape from death, as if he had found a lost treasure, and he cherished it so much that he didn't know what to do with it. During the period of my recovery, my husband's care and love for me was simply overwhelming. His attentiveness and consideration made him look like a young man who had just fallen in love.
For a long time, my husband treated me like a piece of porcelain and didn't even dare to touch me. There were a few times when I felt bad and took the initiative to say: If you want, then... My husband always shook his head firmly and said: The doctor told you that you need to take good care of yourself. He also said that one should not regret for the rest of his life because of a momentary pleasure. People are all made of flesh and blood. My husband's warm words were like a wisp of spring breeze sweeping across my frozen heart. I felt that the ice was melting little by little.
And there were crackling sounds. The exposed atrium begins to become soft and sensitive, and once touched by warm words, it will produce a tingling sensation, which is really a wonderful feeling.
It was a year later that my husband and I truly became one. It was the anniversary of his mother-in-law's death. My husband was very sad when he talked about her rough life. He said that his mother was not a bad person by nature, but just had some psychological problems due to the hardships and pressures of life. He told me a lot about his mother and asked me not to bear a grudge and to forgive the old woman. I said, how could that be? After all, she is your mother, I can understand her. A man's tears are the thing that can make a woman's heart soften the most. Looking at the heartbroken husband, I felt a pain that touched my heart. A deep love filled my heart, and I had an urge to warm my husband with love... That night was the resurrection of my sexuality and the rebirth of love between me and my husband. Under the nourishment of family affection and love, everything was so natural and reasonable.
It’s like a natural progression... My story ends here. Dear friends, I wonder if you can get some inspiration or gain from my story? If so, then I wouldn't be exposing myself to shame. Besides,
As a woman, I want to say something to all men in the world: Please love your wife with all your heart. Loving your wife is like sowing seeds.
There is a reward for every effort. When you complain that your wife is frigid or not warm enough, do you also |
