Green Hat for Me (Other Adult Novels)

Chapter 1 is amazing

Wearing a royal blue scholar's scarf, a royal blue embroidered scholar's cloak, a silk ribbon around my waist, white socks and cloud shoes, and waving a Xiangfei bamboo folding fan in my hand, I walked on the most prosperous street in Shaozhou City, shaking it with every step.

Following closely behind me were my two personal assistants, Da Zhuang and Er Hou. They are the servants of my family. Their ancestors for three generations have been servants in my family. Da Zhuang has loved exercising since he was young. He trains hard in the coldest days of winter and the hottest days of summer. He has a body full of tendons, but his brain is not very flexible. Half of his brain is porridge and the other half is water. When he thinks about it, his brain is full of paste. He has my family name, so he doesn't have a real name. I call him Da Zhuang because he is big. The Erhou next to him also has my family name, Dai. Because he is thin and younger than Dazhuang, let’s call him Erhou. I am a person who pays great attention to the art of naming. After all, I am an educated person.

The weather is nice today and I am in a good mood. Looking at the bustling crowds on the street and feeling this prosperous and peaceful era, I suddenly became interested and wrote a poem: "The weather is really nice and life is very good. Parading in the streets and visiting the wells, parading in the streets and visiting the wells... parading... it's very nice anyway!" Da Zhuang and Er Hou quickly clapped their hands and cheered, and I waved the fan in my hand even more happily, feeling very proud.

The master and his two servants were wandering around the street when suddenly two tall horses, one white and one red, came from the corner. A woman in white was riding on the white horse, and a woman in red was riding on the red horse, which was very conspicuous. People moved to the sides of the road to make way for people.

Only when the two horses came closer did I see clearly that the girl in white sitting on the white horse in front of me had an oval face, eyebrows like distant mountains, eyes like autumn water, a small nose, cherry lips, skin like cream, and a slim figure. She looks petite, but her breasts are plump. With his left hand holding the rope and his right hand holding the horsewhip, his pair of fair wrists and fingers were as white and slender as spring onions. Oh my god, whose girl is this? Is there such a beautiful girl in Shaozhou City? Why didn’t I know this before?

When the girl saw that I was staring at her and standing in the middle of the road and refusing to give way, she became furious: "You bastard, have you never seen a woman?!" She swung the whip and hit me. Da Zhuang was relatively eye-catching. He stretched out his huge hand and grabbed the whip. The girl pulled hard several times but failed to move it, and her little face turned red. Da Zhuang grinned smugly.

I was just about to blame Da Zhuang for being rude to the beauty and trying to win her favor, but before I could open my mouth, I heard a crisp "pop" sound, followed by a muffled "puff" sound, and Da Zhuang's tall body flew out like a rotten tree blown down by the wind, and fell on the mud two meters away with a "thump", raising a lot of dust.

My mouth is open wide enough to hold a chopstick upright. I saw that there was another person in front of the girl in white's horse, a beautiful woman dressed in bright red, with an oval face, willow-shaped eyebrows, peach blossom eyes, a high nose bridge, thin lips, and both corners of her mouth slightly upturned, as if she was smiling anytime and anywhere. This is the woman riding the red horse just now.

The girl in white raised her face proudly and said to the beautiful woman in red, "Sister Liu, ignore them, let's go." The woman in red let out a "huh", jumped on the horse, and the two of them rode away. Erhou and I stretched our necks to stare at Ermei's back until they turned the corner and disappeared from our sight.

When I turned around, I saw Da Zhuang still lying on the ground groaning. Er Hou hurried over to help him up. I walked over, fanning myself and asked, "Da Zhuang, what's wrong? Where are you hurt?" Da Zhuang groaned, "Hand, chest... Ouch..." I took a closer look and saw that the back of Da Zhuang's right hand was bruised and there was a shoe print on his clothes on his chest. Da Zhuang pulled open his clothes and saw that his strong pectoral muscles were also bruised. Wow, that girl had really good kung fu skills. None of us saw clearly how she did it, and we didn’t even see when she got off the horse.

"Who is this?" I yelled towards the intersection where Ermei disappeared just now. "Sir, don't you know who they are?" I turned my head and saw that the person who spoke was an old man who was setting up a fortune-telling stall on the side of the road. I put away my folding fan and stepped forward: "Old man, do you know them?" The old man stroked his beard and laughed: "Hahaha, I know them, but they don't know me."

I hurriedly asked, "Whose families are they from?" The old man just closed his eyes and smiled without saying a word, pretending to be mysterious. Damn it, if there weren't so many people on the street, I would have kicked him in the chin. The second monkey was smart. He took out a tael of silver from his pocket and put it on the divination table. "Old Immortal, this is the son of our Shaocheng's richest man, Dai Guangzong, Master Dai Limao. If you really know the identities of those two young ladies, tell him. He might be so happy that he will give you a few more taels of silver."

When the old man heard Erhou's introduction, he hurriedly stood up from the stool and bowed: "So you are the eldest young master of the Dai family. I am sorry for the offense." I smiled and waved my hands: "Old man, ignorance is not a crime. Tell me quickly, which family are those two young ladies from just now?"

The old man raised his sleeve to wipe the cold sweat from his forehead, changed his pretentious demeanor, and answered respectfully: "In reply to the young master, the two young ladies just now are from the Shangguan family in the west of the city. The one riding the white horse is the daughter of the Shangguan family, and her name is Shangguan Fenglai. It is said that on the night when the old lady gave birth to her, she dreamed of a colorful phoenix flying into her arms, and then she was born, so she was named Fenglai. The one riding the red horse is Miss Shangguan's personal maid, named Liu Mingchan, the daughter of the Shangguan family's housekeeper. It is said that she once followed a famous teacher in Wuyi Mountain and studied martial arts for more than ten years."

I gasped and turned to look at the back of Da Zhuang's hand, where the bruises were growing bigger and bigger. "No wonder he was so quick and ruthless. But I grew up in Shaozhou and have been to every corner of this city. How come I have only met these two outstanding ladies today?"

"In reply to your question, young master, you may not know that Miss Shangguan's grandfather and father are both officials in the capital, and their ancestors were from Shaozhou. They passed the imperial examination and came to the capital. Last year, Miss Shangguan's father died of illness while in office, and there were no relatives in the capital, so the old lady decided to take Miss back to her ancestral home in Shaozhou. There is their ancestral house in the west of the city, and they only moved back last month. They don't often go out on the streets, so you may not have seen it."

Then it dawned on me. I thought, how could I not know such an outstanding person? "Father-in-law, where did you get all this news?" "To answer the young master, there is an old maid in their family. She comes out every day to buy meat, vegetables and daily necessities. She has also come to me for fortune-telling several times. She talks very quickly and tells me everything. I got all this news from her." I stuck out my lips at Erhou and said, "Reward him five taels of silver." After saying that, I unfolded my folding fan, turned around and left. The old man kept thanking him behind his back: "Thank you for the reward, young master! Thank you for the reward, young master!"

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When I got home, walked through the corridor and entered the reception room, I threw away my fan and sat down on the armchair. My mind was full of Shangguan Fenglai's beautiful figure. Her every smile, anger, gesture and movement were so charming. I also often went to Xinghualou to drink wine. The top girl there, Cuiping, was known as the most beautiful girl in Shaozhou. However, when comparing her with Shangguan Fenglai, I was afraid she was not even as pretty as her heels. Liu Mingchan was also a great beauty. Compared with Miss Shangguan, one was a lotus emerging from the water, and the other was a gorgeous peony. They each had their own charm. Either of them would make those girls pale in comparison if she stood in front of the Xinghua Tower.

I am not young anymore, and as the only son of the richest man in Shaozhou, naturally there are many people who come to propose marriage to me. The matchmakers who come here to propose marriages are like a revolving lantern, and I almost know them all. But I am not satisfied with any of the girls they told me about. When I saw Shangguan Fenglai today, I was simply astonished by her beauty. If only I could marry this peerless beauty, hehe...

"Master, what sour food did you eat?" Erhou's giggling interrupted my thoughts. I quickly raised my sleeve to wipe the saliva, and slapped his jujube-shaped head: "Stop talking too much, how is Dazhuang?" "It still hurts, and the bruises are getting bigger." "Tell him to go to the account office and get fifty taels of silver to find a doctor to treat his injury, and give him the rest as a reward."

"!" Erhou turned around and was about to leave, and I shouted again, "Wait!" Erhou was jumping towards the door, and when he heard me calling him, he turned around hurriedly, almost twisting his waist: "Master, do you have any other instructions?" "Go find the best matchmaker, uh - find the kind that can make Bai Ling angry and won't let anyone talk. You also go to the account office and withdraw fifty taels of silver, and you can use it as you like." Erhou was so happy that his eyes widened: "Thank you for the reward, Master. I will do it." Fifty taels of silver was his monthly salary for ten months, so he was naturally very happy.

Two days later, the matchmaker's reply arrived. Shangguan Fenglai did not agree with this marriage. This was really puzzling, and I was so anxious that I was walking around the house. I have a problem where I have to go to the toilet whenever I'm in a hurry. I asked Erhou to sit with the matchmaker first, and then I turned around and left the living room to go to the toilet.

He entered the toilet, unbuttoned his pants, and took out something ominous. Actually, there is no urine, it's just a psychological effect. As I was humming, I heard some noise coming from the toilet next door. There was a man and a woman there. The voices sounded familiar, and my curiosity was piqued. The toilets in my house are separated by wooden boards, but that doesn't bother me. There is a small hole in the wooden board of my toilet, more than one person high. I went to the yard to find a few bricks to stand on, and then lay on the hole to look through.

Next door was a white-haired old man. I recognized him at first sight. He was the butler Dai Fu. He followed my grandfather since he was a child, and then followed my father after my grandfather passed away. He is a veteran of two dynasties and is 65 years old this year. The old man was hugging a girl in a green dress and chewing her, while his skinny hands were touching the girl's body.

The girl's face was blocked by Dai Fu's head, so I couldn't see her clearly. I could only hear her panting: "You old fool, you're not afraid of being seen in broad daylight. Didn't you just come here last night..."

Dai Fu bit her face desperately, and put his hand into her clothes to rub her breasts: "The medicine from the Red Hair Country is too effective. I only took one pill last night, and I fucked you for half the night. I got excited again this morning..."

"Goodbye, or someone will see us..." "No one will come... The master went to the bank to check the accounts, the mistress went to the temple to burn incense, the young master is busy looking for a matchmaker to propose marriage, and I sent all the servants to work in the front yard..." "Old pervert... You are so old and still eating my young grass..." "...What do you care if I am old or not... I have money, I will give you double the monthly salary..." The two heads finally separated, and I could see clearly that the girl was my mother's personal maid - Xia He.

"Xia He, hurry up, hurry up, I can't bear it anymore..." Xia He rolled her eyes at him coquettishly, turned around, took off her pants, then bent down, lifted her skirt to her smooth back, and presented her plump, white buttocks to the old man behind her.

Dai Fu quickly stretched out his skinny hands, held that big white butt, and impatiently lifted the hem of his clothes, revealing a slender penis. Without even using his hands to hold it, he aimed it at the hole with ease and thrust his waist forward, and the entire penis slid in.

Xia He leaned her hands on the wooden wall, tilted her neck back, and let out a long sigh, "Oh~", as if that long thing was hitting her heart. Dai Fu paused for a moment, as if gathering strength, then he tightly pinched Xia He's big white butt and started thrusting back and forth. Xia He also stuck out her charming plump buttocks and tried her best to meet him. The narrow toilet was suddenly filled with springtime scenery, as an old man and a young girl were passionately making love in this small space, while I, the young master of this house, could only peek over their heads.

A man can get such great pleasure by inserting his pee-stick into a woman's urinary area, but I haven't tried it yet. Although I often go to prostitutes to drink, I never buy their skills but not their bodies. Dai Fu is so capable at such an old age. What medicine did he take? I will ask him about it someday. It may be useful in the future.

In a short time, Xia He's snow-white buttocks had turned red, her two plump breasts were flying in the air, and beads of sweat were constantly dripping from her pink nipples. Dai Fu was also very tired. After all, he was old, and the aphrodisiac only had an aphrodisiac effect. It would not work without sufficient physical strength. He was panting like an old ox, and beads of sweat the size of beans dripped onto Xia He's smooth back.

Under the intense stimulation of the pleasure, Dai Fu tried his best to speed up his thrusting. Xia He finally couldn't resist and shouted, "Old pervert... you're so awesome... you're fucking me to death..." At the same time, her fat buttocks swayed from side to side, and the lustful flesh in the hole produced greater friction on the glans. Dai Fu couldn't hold on any longer, and his body shook violently, and he shot a lot of semen into her. Xia He stuck her butt out and endured it motionlessly...

After ejaculating, Dai Fu lay on Xia He's back motionless as if his spine had been pulled out. Xia He turned back breathlessly and asked him, "Old pervert, are you comfortable?" Dai Fu murmured, "It's great to be rich. With money you can play with any kind of woman you want... Xia He... I will give you three monthly payments this month..." Damn it, no matter how rich you are, can you be richer than me? Isn’t all your money from my Dai family? Thinking of this, a thought suddenly flashed through my mind: Yes! I have money!

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There are fewer H plots in the beginning, so I will post two chapters at a time.

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Chapter 2: Surprise in the Bridal Chamber

I returned to the reception room. The matchmaker had already drunk a bellyful of tea. When she saw me come in, she forced a smile, but it was uglier than crying. Every time she burped, tea came out of her throat.

I sat on the armchair, crossed my legs, took a sip of tea, and then asked, "Xu Ma, when you went to Shangguan's house, did you see the old lady or the young lady?" Xu Ma hurriedly leaned over and said, "In reply to the young master, I saw the young lady. Old Madam Shangguan, like Old Madam Dai, also went to the temple fair."

"Oh..." I hesitated for a moment and then asked, "Is their family rich?"

"To answer your question, young master, no. Although Master Shangguan was a third-rank official in Beijing when he was alive, he was also an honest official. In addition to the annual salary of more than 100 taels of silver from the court, the rest came from the tributes from officials from all over the country who came to Beijing to do business. This was also income tacitly approved by the court, so it was not considered corruption. Since Master passed away, the family had to deal with the funeral and move south, and they were already unable to make ends meet."

I slapped my thigh and said, "Okay! Go again and meet the old lady this time. Tell her that I am willing to pay any amount of money, just ask her to marry her daughter to me. If you can get this done, you will get the money."

Xu Ma's face was smiling as brightly as a red hollyhock flower: "Yes, yes, I'll do it right away." I waved my hand to let her go, and waved Erhou over, and whispered something in his ear for him to do. Then I leisurely sipped tea, hummed a little tune, and waited for news from the second monkey.

After a meal, the second monkey came back, "Master, I found out what you asked!" "Well, what is it?" "He said it's called the Old Ox Rejuvenating Pill, and it was brought over from the Red Hair Country."

"Oh...does he have any more?" Erhou grinned, and pulled out his hand from behind his back. In his palm were dozens of small pills, each as big as a green bean. "Since the master asked me to ask, he must be interested. The old man refused to give it to me at first, but when I threatened him that I would report him to the master and his wife, he took it out from his arms tremblingly. In fact, how would I know what he did?"

"Yes," I nodded with satisfaction, "Erhou, you are capable. I will reward you someday. You can put the pills here. Remember, don't tell anyone about this."

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Two days later, I was pacing restlessly in the room when a servant came to inform me that Aunt Xu wanted to see me. I quickly asked someone to bring her in. When Aunt Xu saw me, she bowed and said, "Greetings to Master Dai." I waved my hand and said, "No need to be polite. Tell me, what's the reply from the other side?"

Aunt Xu looked embarrassed and said, "The old lady did agree...but she put forward three conditions..."

"Tell me what the conditions are!"

"First, the betrothal gift must be 10,000 taels of silver; second, after the wedding, you must live alone in a large mansion, and you cannot live with the elderly; third, the young lady's maid Liu Mingchan must also marry with you."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud: "Hahahaha... I thought it was asking me to reach for the moon. Ten thousand taels of silver is indeed not a small amount, but I am the only son of my father. If I want to get married, he will still pay for it. As for the house, my family has a ready-made house with seven entrances in the east of the city. My father has already prepared it for my wedding. As for the third condition... Needless to say, Miss Liu is also a top-notch talent, I have nothing to say!"

After hearing this, Aunt Xu's eyebrows suddenly lit up and said, "I told you! The Dai family is the living god of wealth in Shaozhou! This little condition means nothing! It's easy to deal with Miss Shangguan too. She is a very filial daughter. As long as the old lady nods, she will definitely agree! I'll go and write back to the old lady right away!" She said this but didn't move her feet. She just looked at me with a smile.

Of course I understood what she meant, and I immediately told Erhou, "Go to the accounting office and withdraw five hundred taels of silver, so that you can buy some good things for Xu Ma to mend her legs." Erhou agreed and went down. Xu Ma smiled so hard that her wrinkles were all over her face. Five hundred taels of silver was not a small amount for an ordinary family. Only one tael of silver was enough for a family of five to have enough food and drink for a month. How could she not be so happy?

She kept muttering some words of gratitude, and I waved my hand to stop her: "Auntie Xu, this is what you deserve. It's just that I'll have to trouble you to make a few more trips, reply to the letter, and ask about the appropriate date for the wedding." Auntie Xu agreed repeatedly, took the banknote from Erhou's hand, put it in her arms, buttoned up her clothes, bowed once, and left.

During dinner, I told my parents about the proposal. My mother was very happy and kept praising Mao'er for growing up and finally thinking about his lifelong affairs! My father asked me in detail about the girl's situation, then frowned and remained silent. I asked hurriedly, "Dad, is there something wrong?"

Dad spoke after a long while, "I have nothing to say about her character. If someone as picky as you can like her, she must be good. But she is a descendant of an official, and we are just local rich people. There are no scholars among our ancestors. Will she think we are vulgar and unworthy of her?"

I smiled and said, "Dad, you worry too much. Although her grandfather and father were officials, that was a thing of the past. Now the women in their family don't have a backbone. Everything depends on the old lady, a woman. There is no income in the family. The mother and daughter, a big maid and an old nanny, all rely on their savings for food and clothing. How long can they last? What else can they not be satisfied with after marrying a rich son-in-law like me?"

Dad nodded and said, "Since that's the case, then it's up to you. Be more respectful in the future. After all, you are the eldest daughter of an official family, so it's inevitable that you have some temper. Be more accommodating. The house in the east of the city will be yours to live in after marriage. Although the betrothal gift of 10,000 taels is not a small amount, it shouldn't be a problem to ask a few money houses and silk shops to make some money and collect it within three days."

I said happily, "Thank you, Dad! You've taken so much trouble!" "You're my only son. If I don't take care of you, who else should I take care of? If you could give me a grandson soon, I'd have less to worry about!" My mother and I also agreed happily.

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To make a long story short, several months later, on an auspicious day that was chosen, a wedding sedan carried by eight people brought the stunning beauty Shangguan Fenglai into my new home in the east of the city. Liu Mingchan, a maid who was my concubine, also arrived in the sedan.

With my father's circle of friends, there were naturally many people coming to congratulate him, and the crowds of people coming in and out almost kicked the threshold away. The smiles on my father and mother's faces never stopped, and in the end their faces became stiff. I refused to drink too much because I still had to enter the bridal chamber soon. Da Zhuang stepped forward to save me and drank so much that his tears tasted of alcohol.

I really couldn't wait any longer, so I sneaked out of the front hall and ran back to the bridal chamber. I closed the door with my hands behind my back, and could not see the extremely luxurious furnishings in the room. The only thing in my eyes was the beautiful lady sitting on the edge of the bed. I rubbed my hands, walked quickly forward, pinched a corner of the veil and lifted it. I haven't seen this beautiful woman I've been thinking about day and night since I last saw her on the street a few months ago, and I'm eager to see her pretty face again.

Unexpectedly, before the veil was lifted, I felt a pain in my stomach. The bride kicked me to the ground. As I fell, the veil was pulled off. When I looked carefully, it was not Shangguan Fenglai, but Liu Mingchan! I was holding my stomach and grimacing in pain. Just as I was about to ask what was going on, I heard a burst of giggles, and then a person came out from behind the tent. It was Shangguan Fenglai.

When she smiled, the room was suddenly filled with light. I forgot the pain and just stared at her face in fascination. She came and stood in front of me, stretched out her little feet wearing bright red embroidered wedding shoes and kicked me on the leg. While kicking, he cursed: "You filthy rascal! You have no shame! How dare you bribe my mother with money! You are trying to get me to marry you!"

I squeezed my legs together to avoid being kicked in the vitals by her, and said with a smile: "My wife, I really like you too much. If I don't do this, how can I marry you?"

Shangguan Fenglai said coldly with a straight face: "Do you think you can get me by marrying me? Let me tell you, you are wrong!" Then she shouted behind the tent: "Cousin, come out~"

I stared in amazement as a man walked out from behind the tent. He was wearing a moon-white satin cloak for scholars, waving a bamboo fan, and walked towards me in an elegant and graceful manner.

Shangguan Fenglai kicked me again: "This is my cousin Fang Zilong. Let me tell you, if you hadn't interfered, I would have married him instead of you!"

At this moment, my brain seemed to be filled with paste, my thoughts were frozen, and I just looked at the man in white in front of me blankly. He was in his thirties, tall, with a handsome face, thick eyebrows, big eyes, a straight nose, a square mouth, and two light mustaches on his lips. He was considered a handsome man.

He looked down at me lying on the ground and spoke in a deep voice, "Dai Limao, my cousin and I were in love, why did you interfere? Although my family is poor and can't afford so much money, I can take the imperial examinations and strive for wealth and glory. What about you? Without your father's property, you are nothing!"

I also retorted, "My father's money is also mine. After all, I am married in a formal way. It is the marriage agreed by Old Madam Shangguan. Who are you? You are so old, and you are still my cousin. I think you are my uncle!"

I regretted it as soon as I said it, because three feet kicked at me from three directions at the same time, especially Liu Mingchan's kick, which almost made me choke.

Shangguan Fenglai said angrily, "You are stealing someone's beauty! Do you think you have me? No! You will never have me. I will give myself to my cousin in front of you! And I want you to see it with your own eyes! Mingchan, tie him up."

Liu Mingchan kicked me to the ground, took out a rope from somewhere, tied me up, and then carried me to the bed like a chicken. Let me sit on the floor facing the bed.

Shangguan Fenglai turned around and looked at her cousin Fang Zilong affectionately, and said softly: "Cousin, just think of this bridal chamber as being prepared for you and me. We are here, in front of this bully who ruined our good deeds...we...we..."

Fang Zilong came forward and embraced her, leaned down and kissed her deeply on the lips, and said hesitantly: "Feng'er, this bully...will he spread our affairs everywhere afterwards? Otherwise, we should kill him and run away with him?"

I was so frightened that I broke out in a cold sweat and shouted, "Don't kill me! Don't kill..." Before I could finish my words, Liu Mingchan covered my mouth tightly.

Shangguan Fenglai looked at me with contempt and said quietly, "No... If we leave, what will happen to my mother... She is so old... I don't want her to follow us around and worry. Cousin, let's get married here. You can come here every day in the future. No one will notice your lightness skills. As for this bully, I won't let him touch me. If he dares to do anything wrong, I will ask Mingchan to castrate him!"

I was busy humming. Shangguan Fenglai, my legally married wife, no longer looked at me. She turned around, stood on tiptoe, and kissed Fang Zilong deeply. They kissed passionately. I could see from the side that their tongues were entangled in the air and they were greedily sucking each other's saliva. Fang Zilong's hands were not idle either. He caressed my wife's body randomly and finally stopped at her plump buttocks and started to rub it.

After a long time, the two people slowly separated, and between the two reluctant tongues, there was a crystal arc-shaped silk thread. My newly married wife was already panting, her face flushed. Fang Zilong withdrew his hands from stroking her buttocks, picked her up horizontally, and gently placed her on the bed. My wife kicked off her two embroidered red shoes and stretched her two bound feet in front of Fang Long: "Cousin... help me take them off..."

Fang Zilong stretched out his big hand to hold the small foot and gently peeled off the foot binding. Suddenly, the snow-white and tender feet as white as mutton fat jade appeared in front of me. The shape was very cute, and the white and jade-like toes were tightly together, reflecting the soft light under the candlelight, and the nails were beautifully trimmed.

After the two bound feet were taken off, my wife told her cousin, "Put the bound feet in the bully's mouth to stop him from yelling and screaming."

Fang Zilong chuckled and reached out his hands to pinch my cheeks. My mouth opened involuntarily. Of course I refused to cooperate and twisted my body desperately. Liu Mingchan behind me also reached out and grabbed my head. I couldn't struggle anymore. Liu Mingchan was too strong. So Fangzilong stuffed the bound feet that smelled like my wife's feet into my mouth, and said with a smile: "How is it? Smells good, right? My sister Feng is kind-hearted and didn't let me stuff my bound feet into your mouth!"

I turned my head and looked at my wife with wide eyes, only to see her giving me a cold smile: "My revenge on you has only just begun!"