She is a whore and I am a gangster (Wife and mature adult novel)

She is a prostitute. A very beautiful and well-educated prostitute.

I am a gangster. A scoundrel who pretends to be very smart.

She earns money by prostitution.

I was a "watchman", or a guard dog, in the entertainment city where she worked.

We live to live. No ideals, no goals, no pursuits. At least that's how I feel, because I'm a gangster.

We live together. She is with me because I am a big tree that can shelter her from wind and rain when she is alone in a foreign land. After all, she is a woman and needs a chest to lean on.
I'm with her because I "love" her, her body and her money. She was never stingy with me because she was a whore, a lowly whore.
I also accepted it with peace of mind because I am a gangster, a shameless gangster. A rogue is heartless, a prostitute is loveless. I know she knows it too.
No man could endure that his wife had been a prostitute, unless he knew nothing of her former affairs. At least I think so, gangsters are also human beings. But we are still together.

Because of her, I had a fight with someone and got hurt, and the injury was serious. Fighting is a habit to me, just like washing my face and brushing my teeth every day.
Injuries are common. She cried in the hospital and said I was stupid. I said as long as I'm here, I won't let anyone hurt you, and I can do anything for you.
She was so moved that she cried again. What’s the truth? I fight because I am defending the "dignity" of the gangsters. She is my woman. Touching my woman is obviously an act of disrespecting me and provoking me.
How can I let this go? Otherwise, how will you survive in the future? Why do I say that? What a joke! I guarantee every man would say the same thing if this happened to him.
I'm not a genius at lying, but she's a fool who loves to be fooled.

I am addicted to gambling and have nothing. I lived with her like a parasite. It was a single apartment she rented, only 30 square meters, and it seemed very crowded with two people living in it.
I moved in anyway. She also wanted me to come. She said that a home is not complete without a man. She also said that she liked this home and that only when she returned to "home" did she feel like a "person". She asked me if I liked her and if I thought she was dirty.
I said I like it and I won’t dislike it. She said that she would quit after working for two more years and earn enough money, and leave this dirty city. She could go anywhere as long as she was with me and live a normal life.
I said yes. In my opinion, there is something wrong with her brain. Can prostitutes live a normal life? Maybe. Can a gangster do it? Maybe. Can a prostitute and a gangster live a normal life together? No.

What's hers is mine. My food and drinks were hers, and my clothes, belts, leather shoes, and even my pants and socks were bought by her.
She looks very energetic. If she is in a good mood after get off work, she will make me a "hearty" breakfast. I can't say her cooking skills are good, maybe I am used to eating out. But I still ate a lot, pretending to enjoy it and saying it was delicious. She also often takes me shopping. This is her hobby, and all women do this. I hate shopping, all men are like that.
So push it off if you can, delay it if you can, and if you really can’t avoid it, just do it perfunctorily. She didn't like buying cosmetics, but that was the wrapping paper that sold her body, so she had to buy it.
Like a little child, she likes to buy toy dolls, teddy bears and the like. Her room, which is not spacious to begin with, is almost filled up with these strange things. It takes her a lot of time to sort out her pile of toys every day, but she still enjoys it.
She also likes to buy some household utensils like a housewife, and even choosing clothes for me has become a great pleasure for her. What frustrates me is that she always likes to ask for my opinion when buying things. I just say it's suitable, good and beautiful.
Anyway, it’s not a poor guy like me who has to pay for it, so it’s up to her. The funniest thing was that she once dragged me to take wedding photos. Wearing the wedding dress, no one knew she was a prostitute, she looked like a real bride.

Every time we finish, she always likes me to hold her in my arms and fall asleep slowly on my chest. I asked if it was the same when doing it with others? She said, “That’s not the case.”
Who believes it?

I don't care much for her.
She was rarely asked about her background, and she didn't want to talk about it, so we only had a vague understanding of her past. She was born in a small town and had a beastly stepfather, from whom she escaped.
She said that she only felt happy when she was with me, and that she felt good only when she had sex with me, and with me... I was her only relative in this city, in this world, and she couldn't live without me.
I said me too. I also said I love you forever. She asked really? I said…She asked how far forever was and I said…

I am addicted to gambling and I am very good at asking her for money. Once, I said...she gave it.

Several times, I said...and she said no. I said...she said no. I said...she gave it again.

N times,
I said…she said no. I said...she said no. I said...she said she would not be fooled again.
I said...I said again...I said again...and she had no choice but to give it to her.

We lived for a long time. I didn't expect that either. Maybe it's because she indulges me too much. As long as I ask for something she can do, she will definitely agree to it, whether it’s money or her body.
But time has made me lose interest in her body, only money matters. I already felt that she couldn't live without me, so my attitude towards her was like heaven and hell compared to the beginning.
He no longer said sweet words to her, ate the food she cooked, went shopping with her, or... cursed and beat her for no reason. When she couldn't get money from him, he even beat her half to death and often drove her away and took other women home to spend the night.
Once she got pregnant and said it was mine. She said she didn’t want to do this anymore and wanted to have a baby. Damn, what a joke, it might have 100 fathers?
Are you quitting? How can I expect to make a comeback after losing so much money? I didn't deny it, but I said it had to be aborted. She was reluctant but went anyway.
Later I found out that she didn't hit me, I was very annoyed and asked her how she could be sure it was mine? She said that she could be firm after giving birth, and I said no, but she insisted.
I beat her, hit her stomach regardless of her life or death, pulled her by force, and coaxed her into having an abortion with sweet words. The doctor said it was too late and dangerous... I beat her.
Due to multiple abortions, she was unable to have children for the rest of her life. She cried so sadly that I had to comfort her for three or four days. Not long after, I beat her again, saying that if you don’t “work”, we will be left with nothing.

Unless I'm short of money, I rarely go to her place. She also said that she wanted to leave me, but she could never resist my sweet words and threats. She couldn't live without me and hoped that I would change my mind.
She is like a gambler to me, knowing that there is no hope but still hoping for a miracle.

Soon, I went in.
Four years.
Assault, hooliganism...a bunch of minor crimes combined together, four years.

I regret it. Everyone who came in regretted it.

How far is four years?
It depends on how you get by. Here, four months is longer than your four years. If you don’t believe it, you can try it.

What to expect here? Why live? 1 Released from prison
2 People visit
3. Reduction of sentence. I have relatives, and they are very angry because I was sentenced to four years in prison. If it was a death sentence I think they would pop some champagne to celebrate. Although friends come to visit, it’s only once every year or two.
She is the only one who comes to see me often, and since we live far away, she can only come once at the beginning of every month. When she came, cigarettes, food, and daily necessities were naturally indispensable, so at that time, I was looking forward to her like a goddess descending from the sky. At that time, I made the most profound self-examination to her and told her that when I get out, I will definitely help her live a good life. He also said "I love you" and "We want to be together". Now it seems that what he said was true at the time, but the shelf life was short and it was easy to deteriorate.

I entered the labor unit. Only a fool wouldn't want to come out. The sentences in the labor camp are reduced quickly, the treatment is good, the food is good, there is fatty meat to eat, and there is a little subsidy, which can buy two packs of cigarettes. We often go out to work and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. You can also enjoy some fresh air inside. But that was in a room that was like an iron cage, and people were kept in it like a pen of cattle, in order to prevent us from getting moldy and growing hair.

“You don’t know how to cherish until you lose something.” I used to care about things more when I was free. But now I know how valuable it is. Even a beggar is worthy of my envy and yearning for a free life. I think a lot in there, and looking forward to the "future" is a good way for me to kill time. I really want to be a good person and live a happy life with her.

Coming out soon. I'm doing pretty well in there. I was very grateful to her. Every time she brought something for me, she would share it all with others. She never bullied others, nor did she allow others to bully others. They envy me and say I am blessed. Their wives, if they were one-tenth as good as her, it would be worth spending time with them. I am proud. I look forward to her. They did the same. I used her money and asked my friends to help me get around. I was able to reduce my line limit by 3 times and was released six months earlier.

We still live together. But this time I'm going to take the high road. She still worked as a prostitute and tried hard to make money. I used the savings from her selling her body over the years and the 100,000 yuan she borrowed from various sources to buy a truck for short-distance travel. I ran as hard as I could, and my irregular sleep made me lose 20 pounds, just to pay off the car fare (part of it was all the savings she earned from selling her body and part of it was borrowed from her friends) and my gambling debts (to my relatives who once loved me). We tried every way to save money. She no longer liked shopping and even ate only a little at meals, using the excuse of losing weight. She left everything to me, saying that she knew driving for a long time was very tiring. Although that period was hard, it was also the happiest time in our lives. I said that after two years we would leave.

After buying the car, I moved out from her place. I can't stand the hard life because I'm a gangster. Why not enjoy your blessings? Pay back the money? To hell with it.

With some capital in hand, I speculated and did some sewing. As long as I can make money, I will do anything. If someone is always causing trouble, that's what little hooligans do. If someone is still fooling around when he's older, he's a complete fool. People pass noon after 30 days, and I can’t miss the “noon” of this man’s life. After much hard work, I have achieved some small success. If I don't pay back the money, I can live a very wealthy life. She often comes to see me, but never mentions paying me back. I tried to stay away from her as much as possible. Maybe I just wanted to kick her away when my life got better. I felt uncomfortable when I saw her. The air was filled with dirty and rotten smells, and I felt indescribably disgusted. She noticed it. But what can she do? Maybe this is just my nature. I have blamed myself before, but it can't be changed. Until one day I got annoyed and hit her. She cried and scolded me for being a beast whose conscience had been eaten by a dog.


I fell in love with a girl. Because she has a huge family, she is a blessing to my wealth. But one day this girl broke up with me for unknown reasons. After several inquiries, I learned that she had been there and told her everything about my past. I was furious. I'll go find her. The casino said she hadn't come to work for a long time.

I returned to "home". I haven't been back for a long time, but the lock has not been changed. I opened the door with the original key. The room was messy and filled with a mixed smell of alcohol, cigarettes and perfume. She lay there watching TV, looking haggard. Even I felt sorry for her. After all, all the money she earned from her youth was spent on me. The years of prostitution had destroyed her body and soul, and I had stabbed her heart deeply. I feel a little guilty because it's all my fault that she's like this. After all, my conscience hasn't been completely eaten by dogs.

She was surprised to see me, and when she found out I hadn't had dinner she was very happy to prepare dinner for me. In the kitchen I explained my purpose and we started arguing again. I said she ruined my future, and she said I ruined her life. She cursed at me, saying how much she had done for me, how much the debt had burdened her...she wanted to break up with me and asked me to pay her back immediately.

I originally wanted to return the money to her, but as for living together, that is impossible. Maybe I will give her material compensation. But I was so angry that I smashed her head with a teacup and asked her to pay me back? Where is the receipt for lending me money? She was confused and said she would sue him in court if the money was not paid back. I said go ahead. Go ahead and sue me, I'll wait for you and slam the door and leave. With my current interpersonal relationships, how could a weak woman from another place like her bring me down? Is the joke spot on?

I am still living a decent life. In the past people called him “boss” but now they call him “manager”. I blended into high society. She had her own way of being mixed up in both the black and white worlds. She didn't sue me, nor did she come to see me again. I was so busy that I forgot about her in a corner of my heart.

She came during the banquet. She looked disheveled, with disheveled hair, dark circles under her eyes and deep crow's feet. She came in angrily with a dirty medical patch on her head. She came to make trouble for me. She cried, shouted, overturned tables, kicked chairs, and cursed me profusely, cursing anyone who tried to stop her, like a shrew in the street, waiting for me to hit her. All those present were prominent figures. Can I do it? I was so embarrassed that I didn't know what to do, so I pulled her out forcibly.

She came to see me again, on the street. I didn't even hit her. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I can’t because of my identity.

I went to see her with 80,000 yuan. She still lives there and the locks have not been changed. When I visited her recently, she was curled up in a corner, covered with a thick quilt. The bandage on her head was gone, replaced by an ugly scar. The way she looked made me laugh. I threw the money on her quilt and said, "I will return the money to you, don't bother me anymore, I will compensate you no matter how much money you want." After saying that, he turned and left. She hit me on the back of the head with money, all over the place, and said coldly, "Do you think you're great just because you're rich?" You will never be able to repay what you owe me...

As expected, she never came to see me again.

I found a few more women. The rich care about my background, the poor care about my property. They are very worldly-wise, which makes me feel that only girls of 16 or 17 are innocent and cute. But I'm already 30 years old.

I was scammed. It was the man whom I had always regarded as a brother who cheated me out of almost half of my property. From now on, I no longer believe in any feelings, because they are only based on interests.

I am sick. Although many people came to see me. But we are all here for work, and insincere greetings are not what I need. What I need is real care, from the heart. I already feel that I am a little lonely. I thought about her, but I was rational and I knew that nothing good would happen if we were together.

I went to her place again, bringing with me 40,000 yuan. I’m not well off after being cheated, but this makes me feel more at ease. This time she said nothing. But she didn't even look at the money.

I thought it was over. But it’s not. She's here again. I was having dinner with guests. It took me by surprise.

She was still a little sloppy and there was no expression on her face. She didn't bother me. But I was afraid she might cause trouble, so I pulled her out by force. I talked to her a lot, but she seemed to no longer listen. I was still talking when suddenly a sharp knife appeared in her hand and she waved it towards me, saying she wanted to kill me. A dagger can be life-threatening.
But she is a woman after all. She just swung it at me. I was scratched by her sudden appearance. But I still knocked her to the ground. I hit him hard. Because I only care about myself and my own life.
She can't hurt me anymore. She committed suicide. He cut his wrists and waved a sharp knife to prevent anyone from approaching. There was blood all over the floor.

Everyone present was stunned, including me. At that moment I realized that there were people who were willing to sacrifice their own lives for me.

I rushed forward and was scratched several times by her before I finally snatched the knife from her. He held her hand and carried her on his shoulders. She was so thin that she was almost as light as a chicken. He had only one thought in his mind: to take her to the hospital. When I got to my car, I realized I couldn't drive because I had to hold her wound with one hand. Driving with one hand? No, she won't go to the hospital with me obediently.
I hailed a taxi several times, but who would dare to take two bloody people into the car? I was still holding the sharp knife, maybe I was too nervous and forgot to throw it away.

I'm crazy too. Fortunately, a knowledgeable friend of mine came to my rescue.

In the hospital, she still refused to cooperate with the treatment and was forcibly injected with sedatives….

For the next period of time, I gave up my job and stayed with her every day, fearing that she would do something stupid again.
But we seldom talked. Because I don't want to deceive her and tell no lies, so naturally I have nothing to say. I no longer tell the truth. I just want to show you through my actions that I accept you.

I said I would take you far away as soon as you recovered. She smiled and said, "Are you willing to give up your current achievements and go to a strange place with me to start over?" I said I was willing to give it up, and she laughed again. I said believe me, I won’t hurt you anymore, I will take care of you, take care of you for the rest of my life, give me another chance, the last time. She smiled happily, and her smile made me a little overwhelmed.

She is almost recovered and looks healthy and in a good mood.

A big and profitable deal came, but I didn't do it and still stayed with her. She advised me to go to work and not to worry about her, saying that she was just acting on impulse. I said wait for me to pick you up from the hospital.

On the day she was discharged from the hospital, I went to pick her up and the nurse told me that she had passed away in the morning. I asked who he left with, and the nurse said he left alone. She's back "home" and I understand her.

When I returned to "home", the house was still so dirty and messy. The landlord said that the rent had not been paid for a long time and asked me if I still wanted to live there... I looked for her everywhere, but she seemed to have disappeared. Maybe she is going out to relax. She will definitely come back. I know her.

…

I found the nurse and asked her if she left anything behind. The nurse shook her head.

I think she'll come back, I know her.

…
I returned to my busy work, but I thought of her all the time.

It’s been a long time, I should go back to “home” and take a look. I found that the house became very tidy and spotless. I was so excited that she came back! I'm waiting for her at "home". I know she will come back. I understand her.

…
But she never appeared again.

…
I was disappointed and thought about looking for her, but where could I find her in such a vast sea of ​​people?

I became rich again, but the richer I became, the more empty I felt. Only then did I realize that I really had nothing. I am lonely. I can no longer bear this loneliness. I tried hard not to think about her, but the more I did, the more her shadow surrounded me. The more time I have, the lonelier I feel. I am like a body without a soul, living a mechanical life, working hard, making money non-stop, not allowing myself to have any free time, and numbing myself with alcohol and cigarettes.

She never came back. Maybe I don't understand her? She just left like that? Left without leaving anything behind? Not even a note was left. Where did she go? Can that city accommodate a woman like her? Are you doing well without relying on her? Are you still being deceived?

You can't deceive yourself anymore. I need her. I went to find her in the town where she was born. It was a small town. I found his home, but all I saw was his beastly stepfather. I didn't hit him because he was already a very bad old man. Maybe I will be like this soon.

I even tracked down the person who scammed me but I couldn’t find her. I used some trickery to buy back the original "home", where I hung the wedding photo, placed a pot of flowers on the table, and a very eye-catching note. I went there almost every day to water the flowers. Every time I opened the door with hope, my hands would tremble. When the door opened, everything in the house was still the same, but I would search around, trying to find some trace that would excite me. Besides disappointment, there is helplessness.

Only when you lose something do you know how to cherish it. Only someone who has lost something will understand how I feel. I want to say: If God gives me a chance to live from the heart, I will...
But I never got the chance to say it.

I owe her, and as she said, I can never pay it back, ever. This debt is suffocating me.

The flower died for unknown reasons. The "home" was sold, along with the furniture. The formalities were completed yesterday.
"Home" no longer belongs to me. I begged the landlord to let me stay one more night. Last night.

I finished typing this paragraph in front of the computer and it was already dawn. It’s dawning really early. And I am leaving too.

Loneliness is the punishment God has given me, and I admit my guilt. I will be alone all my life. Carrying a debt that can never be repaid.